In A Word

2007-11-26T14:25:00.001-08:00

Photo hosting

2007-10-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

New Democratic Tape Warns Of Attacks 'Worse Than 9/11'...Oops...I Meant Hollywood Liberals...Damn it...I Mean Al Qaeda

2007-05-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

The lines are getting blurry and rhetoric even more incoherent. Lately I have been having a hard time deciphering between Democratic campaign speeches, celebrity sound bites and new taped threats from Al Qaeda:

This is not a call for negotiations.
This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything as indicated by the extreme violence in Iraq yesterday
You may or may not be aware of it but today, nearly four years after you hastily declared victory in Iraq, and more than five and a half years after you fell into the Afghanistan trap, things aren’t going too well...in fact, things are going really bad.
In other words, you’re losing on all fronts and losing big time.
So stop wasting your time, and trying to save face with these futile maneuvers on Capitol Hill and start making some serious moves.
I not only think that they (U.S. leaders) are misguided, but I think they know exactly what they are doing and I think that they are men who are possessed of evil.
When I see an American flag flying, it's a joke.
You can't beat your enemy anymore through wars; instead you create an entire generation of people revenge-seeking. These days it only matters who's in charge. Right now that's us -- for a while at least. Our opponents are going to resort to car bombs and suicide attacks because they have no other way to win. ...I believe he thinks this is a war that can be won, but there is no such thing anymore. We can't beat anyone anymore.

The game for you is too figure out who's the enemy and who's supposedly our fellow patriots. Good luck and no Googling.

Funny, Because It's True

2007-05-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

Just another reason why the Onion is America's most trusted news source:

Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays

What If The NY Times Covered The American Revolution...

2007-05-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

I blatantly stole this picture from Doug Powers, because it beautifully conveys my feelings towards the press.

I Believe Hillary

2007-05-24T04:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday an internal Hillary Clinton memo was leaked to the press suggesting that she skip the Iowa caucuses to focus on other primaries. Shortly after that revelation, the Clinton campaign strongly refuted the memo and said they were committed to winning Iowa.

“It’s not the opinion of the campaign,” Mrs. Clinton told Radio Iowa on
Wednesday, referring to the memorandum. “It’s not my opinion.”

That's not political, face saving spin...that's the truth. When a Clinton says something, you can bank on it. Honest and intergrity are the back bone of a Clinton. It's about trust people. Clinton's aren't the type to simply tell people what they want to hear. They don't read opinion polls and change their beliefs just to pander to some hick voters. Hell no.

When Hillary says she's committed to winning Iowa that's enough for me. Nothing in her past or even her husband's past would make me question her honesty.

Quoted For Truth...

2007-05-23T04:34:00.000-07:00

Des Moines Register columnist [probably about to be "former" Des Moines Register columnist] John Carlson has another one of those great letters from a soldier ripping the news coverage of the war.

***A word to our regular liberal readers [yes, I know you're there], you may want to stop reading now. The article doesn't have the usual liberal media spin, but instead has stuff like truth and honesty. I am afraid reading yet another US soldier telling you that all the negative war coverage is destroying morale and ading the enemy will fuck with your mypoic little world. I know how much you believe ignorance is bliss, so just stop reading now and pretend like this article doesn't even exist. Trust me, it will make it so you're still able to swallow your own bullshit.***

Carlson: Shift news to successes in Iraq, soldier urges
A tired and disgusted Iowa soldier fired off an e-mail a few days ago, telling
family and friends how things are going in Iraq.

A Blackhawk helicopter pilot, Chief Warrant Officer Jim Funk has flown more than 80 combat missions since he arrived there in October.

He described his Boone-based unit's successes after 5,000 hours of flying out of LSA Anaconda, a huge American base north of Baghdad. He talked about the tragedies he and his fellow Iowans have witnessed and his worries of becoming complacent as he goes on mission after mission.

Morale?

"We're treading water," the Ames man told the
people closest to him. "We continue to kick butt on missions and take care of each other, even though we know the American public and government DOES NOT stand behind us.

Ohhhh, they all say they support us, but how can you support me (the soldier) if you don't support my mission or my objectives. We watch the news over here. Every time we turn it on we see the American public and Hollywood conducting protests and rallies against our 'illegal occupation' of Iraq."

His greatest frustration? The performance of the people who deliver the news to the American people.

I'll let him say it, in his own words, in the letter, which found its way to me:

"Hello media, do you know you indirectly kill American soldiers every day? You inspire and report the enemy's objective every day. You are the enemy's greatest weapon. The enemy cannot beat us on the battlefield so all he does is try to wreak enough havoc and have you report it every day. With you and the enemy using each other, you continually break the will of the American public and American government.

"We go out daily and bust and kill the enemy, uncover and destroy huge weapons caches and continue to establish infrastructure. So daily we put a whoopin on the enemy, but all the enemy has to do is turn on the TV and get re-inspired. He gets to see his daily roadside bomb, truck bomb, suicide bomber or mortar attack. He doesn't see any accomplishments of the U.S. military (FOX,
you're not exempt, you suck also).

"Let's give you an example. A couple of days ago we conducted an air assault. We lifted troops into an area for an operation. The operation went well and our ground troops killed (insurgents) and took several prisoners, freed a few hostages and uncovered a weapons cache containing munitions and chemicals that were going to be used in improvised bombs.

"The next morning I woke up and turned on AFN (Armed Forces Network) and watched the nightly news (NBC). Nothing, none of that reported. But the daily car bomb report was reported, and the file footage was not even from the event. There was a car bomb in the Sadr City area and your news report showed old car bomb footage from another part of town from some other time.

"So we really set the enemy back that night but all the enemy had to do
was turn on the news and be reassured that the enemy's agenda (objective) was
still going to be fed to the American public.

"We, the soldiers, keep breaking the back of the enemy. You, the media, keep rejuvenating the enemy.

"How hard would it be to contact the PAO (public affairs officer) of the 1st CAV, 36th CAB, 25th ID or the Marines and ask what did you guys accomplish today - good and bad? How about some insurgent blooper videos? Now that would be
something to show on the evening news.

"Media, we know you hate the George Bush administration, but report both sides, not just your one-sided agenda. You have got to realize how you are continually motivating every extremist, jihadist and terrorist to continue their resolve to kill American soldiers."

It's a punch in the nose to the news media from Funk, 39, a full-time employee of the Iowa National Guard.

Why did he write it?

"I am just tired of busting my butt over here and coming home every
night and turning on the TV (Armed Forces Network) and hearing how we are
failing miserably," he told me in an e-mail.

You may agree with what Funk has to say. You may not.

Many in my business certainly won't. But Funk is a soldier, fighting a war, who has earned the right to be heard.

The Des Moines Register: A Conservative Rag?

2007-05-18T05:12:00.000-07:00

I fear the end of the world is near...for I agree with a Des Moines Register editorial. A strange sensation to be sure:

Harkin's shriek about Shrek doesn't help child-obesity fight

Shrek is fat. We wouldn't be surprised if he had a stash of candy bars and chips in his dressing room. The sweet-natured ogre's belly hangs over his belt. He's sickly green - a color inconsistent with a healthful diet.

Sen. Tom Harkin [pictured] wants him to clean up his act.

The Iowa Democrat said it's "totally irresponsible" for the producers of the new kids movie "Shrek the Third" to allow the character to promote sugary, unhealthful foods because it damages kids' health.

Uh ... maybe because he just doesn't look like the kind of guy who eats salads and sprouts for lunch. And American businesses are interested in making money. That means advertising with characters like Shrek to help sell products.

Last we checked, that was the way things worked in this land of the free.

Likewise, parents are free not to buy the products - or to oversee their consumption in moderation.

Now the Register believes that people are responsible for their own actions? Parents control their children's eating habits? My God, what the hell is wrong with this world? I feel like I am living The Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Who took my bleeding heart liberal Register editorial board? What about the government solving all the world's problems?!?! I am so confused.

What will the liberal, Iowa blogs do? The mother brain has officially told people to think for themselves. Oh the chaos...

Suck It Pizza Hut

2007-05-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

Bubba's Blonde

2007-05-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

Alright who forgot to send me the memo that Bill Clinton has a new mistress? Old news I know, but this probably isn't the type of "help" Hillary had in mind for her campaign.

And does he have a large nose fetish or what?

Which Song Should Play While We Destroy Our Nation?

2007-05-17T04:39:00.000-07:00

Remember how you used to like Fleetwood Mac until Bill Clinton prostituted their song "Don't Stop" as his campaign theme song? Well fear not, because Hillary has decided that she will also make you despise at least one more band before her campaign is over as she is asking for her own theme song.

The list of nominees:

City of Blinding Lights - U2
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
I'm A Believer - Smash Mouth
Get Ready - The Temptations
Ready To Run - The Dixie Chicks
Rock This Country - Shania Twain
Beautiful Day - U2
Right Here, Right Now - Jesus Jones
I'll Take You There - The Stapler Singers

Luckily there is an opinion to submit your own song if you don't like the ones listed. I came up with a quick list of personal songs I think identify better with Hillary:

Man Eater - Hall & Oats
Smooth Criminal - Micheal Jackson
Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry
Harvester Of Sorrow or Creeping Death - Metallica
Loser - Beck
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Le Freak - Chic

And then there's the one I submitted:

Back In The U.S.S.R. - The Beatles

Now dear reader(s) it's your turn, the comment treads lines are open...

Sorry If I Don't Weep With You

2007-05-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

There will be no glowing eulogy of Rev. Jerry Falwell on the Corn Beltway Boys. In fact, I am having a hard time restraining myself from doing just the opposite. You see Falwell and the rest of the television evangelists represent everything I hate about religion. In many ways I fail to differentiate the Falwells from the Flynts. Opposite sides of the spectrum, but both rip apart the moral fabric of this nation.

If you come to CBB only for conservative, Republican talking points I might suggest you stop reading now.

Excuse me while I pile on:

And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this happen."
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.
-- Jerry Falwell

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.
-- Jerry Falwell, Listen, America!

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.
-- Jerry Falwell, on CNN's Crossfire, May 17, 1997

I do not believe the homosexual community deserves minority status. One's misbehavior does not qualify him or her for minority status. Blacks, Hispanics, women, etc., are God-ordained minorities who do indeed deserve minority status.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, USA Today Chat, quoted from The Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of Jerry Falwell"

If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

I could further mock Falwell, but I can't shove his foot down his throat any farther than he already did throughout his life. He can take his condescending bullshit to Heaven and hope God is in a forgiving mood or his afterlife is going to be a little warmer than he envisioned.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matthew 7:12).”

But what do I know, I am just a failed human being wandering through life trying to figure it all out while not drinking, taking no drugs, living with integrity, and working hard so my wife can stay home and take care of our three children.

Today’s world requires a bigger Army

2007-05-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

This is reprinted from The State:

By Rudy Giuliani

The greatest challenge of our generation is to win the terrorists’ war on us. The next president needs to keep America on offense against the terrorists — that’s why I’ve called for the creation of 10 new combat brigades for the U.S. Army.

We need to remember the lesson from previous generations: Peace is best achieved through strength.

This isn’t the first time the United States has been faced with the need to expand our military during wartime. After winning World War I, the Army was cut by 90 percent. And when World War II came to American shores with the attack on Pearl Harbor, we were forced to play catch-up through the first years of the fight. After defeating the Axis powers, our Army of more than 7 million soldiers was reduced to fewer than 500,000 by 1948.

When the Cold War heated up, Harry Truman — a Democratic president — and the Republican-led Congress needed to establish a large peacetime military for the first time in our nation’s history. Our responsibilities as a world power demanded it.

But after winning the Cold War we again dramatically reduced our military. Washington called it a “peace dividend,” and it became the core of government policy in the 1990s.

The peace dividend has proven to be a disastrous decision. We cut military and intelligence budgets as Islamic terrorists were focusing their attacks on America and Americans. Terrorists attacked us in 1993 at the World Trade Center and in 1996 at the Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia. In 1998, our embassies were bombed in Kenya and Tanzania, and in 2000, terrorists attacked the USS Cole, killing 17 servicemen. During this time, Osama Bin Laden even declared war on us.

We didn’t recognize the magnitude of the threat. During that time an Army of 18 divisions — the force that won the first Gulf War — was cut to 10 divisions. Total military manpower was reduced from about 775,000 in the 1980s to 470,000 on the eve of Sept. 11. The cuts extended to the purchase of new equipment — that’s why many of today’s Marine Corps pilots are flying the same helicopters their fathers were flying in Vietnam.

The good news is that conditions for our fighting men and women are improving. President Bush raised their pay and improved benefits. President Bush also increased the ranks of the Army and Marine Corps. More ships are being built for the Navy, and the Air Force is finally getting some long-awaited next-generation fighters.

These increases are necessary and important, but we need to do more. Military families are feeling the stretch of extended involvement in Afghanistan and Iraq. We need a force that can both deter aggression and meet any challenge that might come our way — even two conflicts simultaneously. That’s why America must increase the size of our armed forces — in particular the Army, which has been cut the most and is under the greatest stress.

Ten new combat brigades will offer reinforcements where they are needed most. They will deter others from calculating that a stretched-thin U.S. military presents an opportunity for aggression. And they will allow the United States greater flexibility to fight and win the wider war against the terrorists.

I believe that Washington needs a healthy dose of fiscal discipline, but it must be done by establishing clear priorities. Our current military spending is low by historical standards — 4.1 percent of GDP, if you include supplemental spending. At the height of the Reagan build-up, it was at 6.2 percent of GDP.

Besides, costs should not be considered in a vacuum: They must be weighed against the prospective benefits of securing a more peaceful world, the threats posed by the terrorists’ war against us, and the certain drawbacks of letting down our guard. And while recruitment during military conflicts can be a challenge, I believe that the 9/11 generation — with its heightened sense of public service — will rise to this challenge if we make it a national priority.

America will win the war of the terrorists on us by staying on offense. We can’t listen to those who counsel retreat or advocate giving our enemy a timetable of our withdrawal. America doesn’t retreat: America advances. And to win, we must understand that realistic peace is best achieved by a stronger, larger and better-trained military.

News Flash: President Bush ISN'T Running In 2008

2007-05-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

I realize he is one of the few people not running for President, but apparently Democrats have forgotten he legally serve another term.

Consider this John Edwards ad:

Must take a really big Billy-Bad-Ass with steel balls to stand up to a President that won't be in power come 2008. Hey John, in case you didn't know you're running for Bush's job...not against him. Oh, wait...that's right. With no Bush to kick around, no Democratic agenda. My bad...

"Cool" Might Be Over Selling It A Little Bit...

2007-05-08T14:27:00.000-07:00

I am just sayin'...

Headline For The Stupid

2007-05-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

You knew the liberal blogs would spin Bush's veto...in fact it's in their power saving interest to do so:

Bush's Veto Denies Funding for Our Troops

Today, Bush issued his 2nd veto of his administration by vetoing a bill that would provide the funds our troops need to finish the war and come home safely. Ironically, this occured on the 4th year anniversary of Bush's infamous "Mission Accomplished" declaration.

Oh to be simple minded...

The mission has been accomplished genius. Last time I checked the Iraqi military who we originally went to war with is no longer in existence. We overthrew the Iraqi government, what about that fact don't you understand? Maybe we have a new mission, but make no mistake our initial mission has been accomplished.

It doesn't surprise me however that Democrats wouldn't understand the whole "mission accomplished" banner. While Bush plays to the soldiers in what would be called a "pep rally," the liberals want to praise the troops by announcing a retreat schedule to the entire world.

Fucking dumb. Stupid. Naive. Idiotic.

I've said this a hundred times, what's worse: going to war on false intelligence or playing politics with our troops' lives?

Reposted from the Corn Beltway Boys

Time's 100 Most Influential People [Influential meaning: insignifant and unimportant]

2007-05-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

Time just released its' 100 most influential people list and I while I understand that influential and good don't go hand and hand I question the headlines for each section. Osama Bin Laden falls under the "Leader & Revolutionaries" category. Would it have been to much work to make a "Murders & Psychopaths" entry? I completely agree that Osama's influence is far reaching, but I have a hard time seeing his name next to the word "revolutionary." To Time it's just the type of thing that sells magazines.

A lot is being made about President Bush being snubbed by not being included on the list, but after seeing the list I think it's a greater honor not being on it. When I see Tina Fey and Rosie O'Donnell on the same list I know it's a list that needs not be read. Last time I checked "influential" meant "having or exerting influence," so I highly doubt Tina Fey is changing anyone's opinion. Well I mean other than making people rethink whether she's funny or not. And to be clear no one is watching O'Donnell for her deep insights, they are watching for the car crash. In fact, I would wager if conservative bloggers stopped watching the View their ratings would go into the tank.

When you put out a list of the 100 most influential people in the world and include people like Tina Fey and Rosie O'Donnell, it says a lot about how we, as a society, have lowered our standards of what is significant and authoritative.

Come Visit Iowa And Enjoy Our Wonderful...Um...Um...Field of Corn?

2007-05-02T04:47:00.000-07:00

I like to think I am what you would call a realist. I tend to look those life with an optimistic, but cautious view of world to come. I can dream, but I don't dream about things that are impossible. The dreams need to be attainable.

Enter the Des Moines Register opinion board, where lavish dreaming is second only to their socialistic ideals. Every month or so, hell almost weekly, the Register starts in with their wish list of wants and desires on how to transform Iowa into a recreational wonderland. Queue a government funded study:

Among the findings: Iowa needs $150 million per year for 10 years to fund everything from better beaches and campgrounds to protections for soil, water and wildlife. Ways to secure those dollars include using a portion of sales tax or gambling revenues or state lottery proceeds. Bonding could be used to stretch dollars.

$1 billion dollars over ten years?!? Holy crap. Better beaches? Did I miss California and the western 1/3 of the nation falling into the Pacific ocean? But don't worry, we can have our magical outdoor oasis by merely increasing even more taxes. Forget the fact that Iowa already has one of worst environments for attracting new businesses what harm would an additional billion dollars do?

We farm. And where we don't use our land for agriculture, we live. Aside from a few lakes, river beds and the occasional state park Iowa's land is meant for practical purposes. We are what we are. Don't for one second think that spending a billion dollars is all of a sudden going to bring tourists to Iowa by the droves. There just aren't enough activities to engage a visiting family for a week, especially when areas like Missouri, Minnesota, and Illinois are just across our borders. And a billion dollars isn't going to change that.

Dream if you must, but don't propose spending tax money on false conclusions:

Iowans who live in counties with more outdoor opportunities enjoy faster-rising incomes than those who don't, a study has shown. The Mississippi River Trail, still under construction, is estimated to add $20 million per year to the state's economy.

Those are the facts.

Those are facts, huh? Maybe the Register doesn't understand the word "estimated." Considering the Mississippi River Trail is "still under construction" there is no way to report it's economic impact on Iowa as "fact." Nice try though...

I am open to picking a new state slogan though, because after one short session of Democratic control in all three branches of state government and the incessant droning by the Register our old slogan just doesn't fit anymore.

How about..."Iowa, where the tall taxes grow?"

A young lady of Seville...

2007-04-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

...would not think of attending the bullfights at the Maestranza ring without the traditional high comb...OMG, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!?!

The Spin Cycle

2007-04-28T04:28:00.000-07:00

When I first read this story I thought I was on the The Onion website, then I realized it was, in fact, an Associated Press article. In all fairness, it's pretty hard to tell the difference:

Clinton Says Her Southern Twang a Virtue

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton said Friday she sees her sometimes Southern accent as a virtue.

"I think America is ready for a multilingual president," Clinton said during a campaign stop at a charter school in Greenville, S.C.

The New York senator—who said she's been thinking about critics who've suggested that she tried to put on a fake Southern accent in Selma, Ala.—noted that she's split her life between Arkansas, Illinois and the East Coast.

And the punchline:

Clinton is a linguistic polyglot—a Chicago native turned New York resident who works in Washington and spent two decades living in Arkansas when her husband, Bill Clinton, was governor.

Linguistic polyglot? Is that a fancy way of saying she sounds like she has been smoking two packs Marlboro Lights a day while sitting in a trailer park watching Jeff Foxworthy videos?

Don't forget this is a real news story. The blogosphere attacks Hillary for being fake [an endless job, I know] and here comes the mainstream press to rescue her. Unbelievable. In my opinion, this is how the article should have been written:

Clinton Admits She's A Fool

After a couple of failed attempts to thaw her cold, hearted, bitch persona, Hillary Clinton announced she really botched her bogus, southern drawl.

"I was simply brown nosing the black southern voters and by doing so I thought must sound like I dropped out of school in the sixth grade," Clinton said, "however I do think America is ready for a multi fraudulent President."

Clinton is a fictitious, panderer - a Chicago native who married a man she believed would give her the greatest chance at power. She lived in Arkansas for many years broking shady land deals while allowing her husband, Bill Clinton, to sleep with everything that moved in exchange for his promise of supporting her in a future Presidential run. Masquerading as southerner isn't Clinton's only artificial facade as she has been pretending to be a New Yorker for six years now while serving as their Senator.

Flag On The Play: Excessive Use Of Irony

2007-04-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

DNC Dean Says Giuliani's 'Personal Life Is A Serious Problem'

Democratic party chairman Howard Dean said on Thursday that Rudy Giuliani "personal life is a serious problem."

Dean sent the warning on CNN's SITUATION ROOM with host Wolf Blitzer.

Chariman Dean said the former New York City Mayor "has a lot of character issues that he has to answer for. And overwhelmingly, Americans are going to vote on honesty and integrity.... We've begun to reach out to evangelical Christians, and that's a real problem for him. His personal life is a serious problem for him."

This from the party of Bill Clinton? You've got to be fucking kidding me...

Wall Of Murder

2007-04-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

Planned Genocide has put up a wailing wall for its' supporters. Get a Kleenex as the tears of self pity flow freely. I find it interesting that when the laws worked in their favor they constantly threw the legality of abortion in the face of pro-lifers. But now that the Supreme Court has ruled otherwise on the inhumane practice of partial birth abortion, for some reason laws should no longer apply. Funny how that works...

I would tell the liberals to "suck it," but I am afraid they'd kill a baby just to spite me.

H/T: Doug Powers

Corn Beltway Boys Cordless Power Tool Of The Week: Keith Olbermann

2007-04-26T05:06:00.000-07:00

If only the liberals would fight the war on terror like they fight the Republicans...

Here are a few Keith Olbermann's quotes about Rudy Giuliani saying a Democratic victory in 2008 will bring another 9/11:

Only in this America of the early 21st century could it be true that the man who was President during the worst attack on our nation and the man who was the mayor of the city in which that attack principally unfolded would not only be absolved of any and all blame for the unreadiness of their own governments, but, moreover, would thereafter be branded heroes of those attacks.

Who playing politics now Keith? Somehow Rudy is to blame for 9/11? What the hell? I mean God forbid we place the blame on the terrorists you fucking egoistical asshole.

And now, that mayor, whose most profound municipal act in the wake of that nightmare was to suggest the postponement of the election to choose his own successor, has gone even a step beyond these M.C. Escher constructions of history. 'If any Republican is elected president, and I think obviously I would be best at this, we will remain on offense and we will anticipate what (the terrorists) will do and try to stop them before they do it.' Insisting that the election of any Democrat would mean the country was 'back on defense,' Mr. Giuliani continued last night: 'But the question is how long will it take and how many casualties will we have? If we are on defense, we will have more losses and it will go on longer.'

In aftermath of 9/11 and all that Rudy Giuliani did, Keith chooses to only focus on the postponement of the elections? Olbermann has definitely gone beyond his usual Salvador Dali constructions of history.

At least that Republican president under which we have not been safer has, even at his worst, maintained some microscopic distance between himself and a campaign platform that blithely threatened the American people with 'casualties' if they, next year, elect a Democratic president or, inferring from Mr. Giuliani's flights of grandeur in New Hampshire last night, even if they elect a different Republican.

Did I miss another 9/11? Not safer? How do quantify that? I would love to hear how we are not any safer. Keith rants about politics of fear, but then offers no proof to his own outlandish claims. God how I do love irony.

How dare you, sir? 'How many casualties will we have?' This is the language of bin Laden. Yours, Mr. Giuliani, is the same chilling nonchalance of the madman, of the proselytizer who has moved from even some crude framework of politics and society, into a virtual Roman Colosseum of carnage, and a conceit over your own ability, and worthiness, to decide who therein lives and who dies. Rather than a reasoned discussion, rather than a political campaign advocating your own causes and extolling your own qualifications, you have bypassed all the intermediate steps and moved directly to trying to terrorize the electorate into viewing a vote for a Democrat not as a reasonable alternative and an inalienable right, but as an act of suicide.

How can Olbermann have an integrity left after comparing a great American like Rudy Giuliani to Osama Bin Laden simply because he doesn't agree with Giuliani's assessment of the Democrat's policies on terrorism? You what Keith? You're no different than Joseph Goebbels. How do you like analogies now?

'The Democrats do not understand the full nature and scope of the terrorist war against us,' Mr. Giuliani continued to the Rockingham County Lincoln Day Dinner last night. 'Never, ever again will this country be on defense waiting for (terrorists) to attack us, if I have anything to say about it. And make no mistake,' he concluded, 'the Democrats want to put us back on defense.'There is no room for this. This is terrorism itself, dressed up as counter-terrorism. It is not warning, but bullying, substituted for the political discourse now absolutely essential to this country's survival and the freedom of its people

Bullying? Terrorism? Keith has ranted for so long that his diatribe has become what he originally set out to condemn. According the Olbermann it's wrong for Rudy to say America will be safer with a Republican President, but somehow it's fine to call Giuliani a terrorist. Oh, the bleepin' irony.

Franklin Roosevelt's words ring true again tonight. And, clarified and amplified, they are just as current now as they were when first he spoke them 74 years ago. 'We have nothing to fear but fear itself,' and those who would exploit our fear, for power and for their own personal, selfish, cynical gain. Good night and good luck.

First of all, take you Edward R. Murrow impression and shove it. I've seen Edward R. Murrow deliver a newscaster and you sir are no Edward R. Murrow. Hell, you're not even Katie Couric. Ironic again is the fact that Olbermann would use Roosevelt as an example after spending so much time berating the Republicans for stripping away civil liberties. Apparently history wasn't one of Keith's strong points in school, because Roosevelt quickly rounded up many Japanese living in America after Pearl Harbor and put them internment camps. But why let a little thing like fact interfer with perfectly good soap box hysteria?

Did I miss the memo stating why I should friggin' care what a tool like Keith Olbermann says? If Keith Olbermann is a legitimate newscaster then so is the Corn Beltway Boys. Apparently Keith is as good at reporting the news as he is in bed.

Reprinted for the Corn Beltway Boys.

Hillarity

2007-04-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

When I hear Hillary Clinton start to talk about cleaning up government abuses, it's hard not to laugh. I mean is she talking about her husband's presidency or Bush's? That whole "people in glass house shouldn't throw stones" thing...

And she didn't just mention the rug in the Oval Office did she? Seriously...did she forget what her husband did in there?

News Flash: Giuliani warns of 'new 9/11' if Dems win

2007-04-25T05:30:00.000-07:00

And this news why?

Lets see...the Democrats have spent the last two plus years saying we are losing the war in Iraq. Harry Reid is on record saying we have "lost." They oppose the Patriot Act. In fact they oppose most of the measures the Bush administration have enacted since 9/11. Given a chance most Democrats wish to revert back to a pre-9/11 mindset. Hell, they even want to set a timetable for retreat.

I am sorry, but do any of those positions help keep us safe? Last time I checked there hasn't been another 9/11...hence the problem I suppose. Out of sight, out of mind.

Thank you Rudy for saying what needs to be said...

Victory Is Not An Option

2007-04-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

Harry Reid and the Democrats say the war is lost, though I am not exactly sure how they would know that...

What's curious is that congressional Democrats don't seem much interested in what's actually happening in Iraq. The commander in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus, returns to Washington this week, but last week Pelosi's office said "scheduling conflicts" prevented him from briefing House members. Two days later, the members-only meeting was scheduled, but the episode brings to mind the fact that Pelosi and other top House Democrats skipped a Pentagon videoconference with Petraeus on March 8.

What the hell is more important than hearing Gen. Petraeus' assessment of the war? What?!? Damn it, I want to know! It's fine to be a coward Defeatocrat, but there are men dying everyday so they can have a campaign platform to run on, so I would like to think they should be able to find a few minutes to listen to Petraeus talk.

As Howard Dean once said: "I have not yet begun to not fight!"

Right Analogy, Wrong Conclusion

2007-04-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

The Des Moines Register editorial board is known for believing every problem in the world can be solved with greater government involvement. Utopia for the Register would be the day when the private sector is eliminated. I had to laugh today when I read their editorial stance on wanting the government to negotiate drug prices:

Sen. Charles Grassley exposed the scandal of the Pentagon paying $600 for toilet seats. He is angered by certain corporate tax loopholes and has built a reputation as a maverick for going after waste and abuse.

Yet when it comes to the Medicare drug benefit, he protects drug-company profits rather than the public purse.

Grassley last week led the charge in the Senate to prevent the federal government from negotiating Medicare prescription-drug prices. Supporters were unable to marshal the 60 votes needed to move a bill that would have allowed negotiation toward a final vote.

So wait...the Register just gave Grassley props for exposing government wastefulness, then uses that example as spring board as to why they believe the government should handle drug price negotiations? According to the Register the government can't handle bartering the price of a toilet seat, so this would obviously make them perfectly suited to negotiate drug prices.

Oww...the pain...quick pass me the duct tape.

Holy Overreaction, Batman!

2007-04-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

Valley student charged with harassment

A Valley High School student faces a harassment charge after he wrote a threatening message on a bathroom wall at the school Friday, police officials released today.

Griffin Shea Huth, 16, of 533 Eighth St. in West Des Moines, admitted to police that he wrote, “I am going to kill (everyone) today at 2 lunch,” about 9:30 a.m., West Des Moines Police Lt. Jeff Miller said.

Huth allegedly wrote the message and then reported it to school administrators.

“He did it so they would dismiss class,” Miller said.

Huth faces a charge of first-degree harassment, which is punishable by up to two years in prison if he’s tried as an adult. Miller said the matter will be referred to juvenile court.

Virginia Tech or not, can we please have a measure of common sense returned to our society? Perhaps if it was shown the Huth had the means to carryout his prank I would understand pressing charges, but since this was nothing more than a stupid teenager looking to get out of a test I think everyone needs to settle down.

Reprinted from The Corn Beltway Boys

This Word "Illegal," I Don't Think It Means What You Think It Means

2007-04-23T06:01:00.000-07:00

No Need over at the Century of The No Common Sense Iowan recently attended a Tom Tancredo political rally. I applaud him for venturing out and attempting to see other points of view. For this, he earned a measure of respect from me. But...and there's always a but right?

He took exception to one of Tancredo's response about immigration:

Tancredo had a lot of stories about immigrants who receive all of the health care they need. I can't argue that a large number of immigrants do not have health insurance and receive some sort of health care. However, the quality of that care is not as good as the health care people with insurance have. Also, it is morally wrong to deny health care or education for that matter to people based on the fact their skin is a different color, they speak a different language, and they come (or their parents come) from a different country.

Morally wrong? Morally wrong?

Then is it morally wrong for me to walk out of a clinic and not pay the bill? Is it morally wrong for me to walk out of Target and not buy the goods? Is it morally wrong for me to not contribute to society but leach off of it?

My desire to deny health care or education to illegal immigrants has nothing to do with their skin color, speaking a different language, or that they come from a different country. No. My anger towards illegal immigrants focuses on the word "illegal." As in they are in this country "illegally" and as such are not entitled to this same privileges as the rest of us.

I am silly like that...I am morally wrong for expecting people to follow the laws.

Reprinted from the Corn Beltway Boys

Vanity

2007-04-22T18:41:00.000-07:00

Old and busted Jeremie:

New hotness:

75 pounds off...goals to be shattered and new ones to be made.

Don't Mess With Texas...Or The Children

2007-04-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

There are days when I miss living in Texas:

Backers of a Senate bill to toughen punishment for child-sex offenders said they've reached a deal that would permit the death penalty for offenders who repeatedly prey on children.

The compromise bill, which was distributed to Senate members on Tuesday, would allow the death penalty only for those twice convicted of raping a child 13 or younger. It also boosts mandatory minimum sentences for a variety of sex crimes against children.

The House passed its version of the bill, dubbed Jessica's Law, last month. It carries a minimum of 25 years to life in prison on a first conviction and possibly the death penalty for a second offense.

I have always maintained that rape, as far as capital crimes go, is quite possibly worse than murder...at least when your dead the pain and suffering ends. So hearing about Texas proposing execution for repeat child molesters is like music to my ears. My only problem is why does it have to be "repeat" offenders? Isn't once enough.

I don't know if you guys know this our not, but Iowa has a limited death penalty for child sex offenders. Yeah, yeah it an obscure law that states "if you sexually molest one of Jeremie's kids you will be shot in the head."

H/T: Doug Powers

Permit To Carolyn

2007-04-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

I suppose it would be asking too much for representatives in congress to actually understand the bills they sponsor?

For the record, a barrel shroud is a piece of cloth that guns can wear to keep other guns from getting turned on by the sexy long barrels.

...Those Who Kean't,Teach

2007-04-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

Kean University just announced disgraced former New Jersey governor, James McGreevey, will be teaching a course on ethics. No word on whether or not "Understanding Irony 101" is a prerequisite for the class.

What's next? Mark Foley lecturing on how to spot a sexual predator?

Slipping In Elephant Dung

2007-04-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

Pick up a newspaper or stream through the political blogs and you will pick up the tremors predicting a possible Fred Thompson campaign for President. So called ultra conservatives have been experiencing about a three month long hard-on for Thompson, believing he is some sort of mythical Cialis for all things conservatives. I've got to be honest, I am hard pressed to figure out why. I realize my support of Giuliani gives me a myopic view of the other candidates, but lets review Fred's history.

He was an actor in some movies that I have been known to watch. Of his acting career prior to politics I see only one real obstacle: Aces: Iron Eagle III. Then in 1994 he replaces Al Gore as a Tennessee senator when Gore joined Clinton in the White House. During his eight years as a Senator, Thompson had many opportunity to lay a foundation of his core beliefs. However he didn't and instead spent a large amount of time investigating Clinton. At every turn where Fred could have stood for something, he deferred.

I am starting to think there are no real conservatives in this country with a brain. The only real reason Fred Thompson is a viable candidate is because other Republicans believe none of the declared candidates are "conservative" enough. Get a grip people. Maybe Giuliani is pro-choice, but almost all of his other actions are decidedly conservative. Plus he has a record on issues that can be referenced; both good and bad. With Thompson what I am supposed to do? Pop in a DVD of Law and Order and hope I can gleam some insight through his mannerisms? Or hope he rules over America like he rules over Cole Trickle in Days of Thunder?

Here is the hard fact for every conservative / Republican reading this: a Hillary/Obama ticket will be damn near impossible to beat in November 2008. We need a moderate Republican in order to have any chance to sway the independent voters. The next election is not going to be kind to conservatives and you can blame Bush's approval rating for that. While I support the President, the only way there will be any type of Republican leadership after 2008 is if we move back towards the center. No, that does not mean compromising our morals or principles. It means electing politicians that have the ability to appeal to moderates. And if Fred Thompson is a "true conservative" he won't be able to do that, because his political stance would be to far to the right for the average voter.

Lower taxes and smaller government are the foundations for why I am a Republican and why I support Rudy Giuliani. I consider myself a very conservative person, but I am not going to wander around looking for a mythical, non-existent, bipartisan, perfect conservative while squabbling over systematics.

Losers Love Company

2007-04-18T13:21:00.000-07:00

It started with Jaques...he joined MySpace and in order to comment you must have a MySpace account. So I joined. I felt my soul corrupt and become tainted as soon as I hit the submit button.

Here is my profile...I am whoring myself to be your friend.

Don't make me grovel, you know you're MySpace loser too...

On the upside, MySpace is a wicked place to find new bands.

A Simple Solution...

2007-04-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

In the wake of the shootings at Virginia Tech, may politicians and pundits have called for stronger gun laws or even rescinding the second amendment entirely. To that I say: "makes perfect sense to me." If guns are illegal then no criminal can get them...just like illegal immigrants are illegal so they can't get in the country.

Permit me a counter thought on the whole gun issue. What if instead of being a gun free zone, VT allowed them? Then maybe Seung Hui Cho wouldn't have been the only one with a gun.

Just throwing that out there...

A Little Morality Returns To Society

2007-04-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

While I am not an overly religious person I do have strong beliefs that stem from the Christian faith. So if you will permit me a soap box stage for a moment, I believe that the liberalization of our culture is leading us into ruin. The more we disregard our moral foundations in this country the more we slowly kill our way of life.

It comes down to responsibility; or more correctly, the ducking of personal responsibility. Abortion is one of those ills that snags on the moral fabric of our society and unravels it. You want choices? How about not having sex until you are mature enough to handle the consequences of a possible pregnancy? How about using protection? How about only having sex with someone you're in a relationship with? Do I preach? Too bad, the whole purpose of sex is create life. As humans we may derive pleasure from it, but that doesn't strip away its' intended function.

Abortion supposedly corrects all those bad decisions or at least it corrects those decision physically but not mentally. The deep scars that linger in the psyche of a women who has killed he own child will never go away. And that stain repaints the world in which she lives.

Today the Supreme Court delivered a little morality back into America by upholding the ban on partial birth abortions. The abhorred practice usually applies to those abortions outside the first 12 weeks of gestation. Three months? A third of total human pregnancy is over and yet until recently it was perfectly legal to kill the infant. Sick. Deprived. And wrong.

Let me leave you with this picture [the link is graphic]:

The procedure at issue involves partially removing the fetus intact from a woman's uterus, then crushing or cutting its skull to complete the abortion.

The procedure at issue involves partially removing the fetus intact from a woman's uterus, then crushing or cutting its skull to complete the abortion.

The procedure at issue involves partially removing the fetus intact from a woman's uterus, then crushing or cutting its skull to complete the abortion.

Do you want to live in a society where this type of practice is legal?

NY Times: For All Your Virginia Shooting News

2007-04-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

I found this slightly disturbing [click to enlarge]:

I guess you can "sponsor" anything these days...

Do I As I Say

2007-04-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

Hypocrisy. F-ing liberal hypocrisy.

Michael Moore takes a group of 9/11 first responders to Cuba for medical treatment. A fine and noble move if it was purely for the betterment of the men's health instead of a whoring political stunt to promote his newest "documentary." Alright liberal Democrats, I am officially waiting for your condemnation of Moore as you are now on the clock. Bush ran campaign ads depicting his leadership during September 11th and the backlash was instantaneous. Rudy Giuliani is running for the Presidency and people are constantly asking whether it's morally right to use the backdrop of 9/11 in a political campaign. While Bush and Giuliani were thrust into 9/11 not by choice but by their leadership roles, Moore's only connection to 9/11 is one of profit. Where's the outrage from the left? Where? Damn it where?

Don Imus is a dumb ass, out of work bigot. He has been a bigot for years, he just happens to be out of work now. Every liberal candidate ran to the nearest microphone and talk show to get their opinion of Imus out to the masses. Hell, Hillary was even suppose to speak at Rutgers University to help the healing process through fund raising. Typical. However, where's the backlash to rap music? Hillary just held a supper for campaign donors with entertainment supplied by rapper, Timbaland. You want more "hos" and a "niggas" than a lifetime of Imus bad, tasteless jokes? Then pop in a Timbaland CD. It's all good of course as long as he's writes you a check for your Presidential campaign run. Apparently Clinton's conscious can be bought for a few thousand dollars. But then we already knew that...

Poets Of The Fall - Carnival Of Rust

2007-04-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

When I first met my cousin Tammy's husband Jamey at my 16th birthday supper, I quickly learned that we shared very similar tastes in music. At the time, Operation: Mindcrime was a fairly new album and to find another Queensryche fan was really cool. Over the years we have thrown each other new bands that we have found and more often than not I end up finding a new musical addiction. This weekend we hung out together after meeting Rudy Giuliani and he told about a band called Poets of the Fall. Rock, maybe hard rock but damn stylish, but definitely my kind of music.

Here is there music video for the title track off their newest album:

In all truthfulness I didn't met Jamey for the first time on 16th birthday, but it's probably the first time he can remember. The other time was during a party of Tammy's house and Jamey was drunk playing Super Mario Bros...good times...good times.

Iran Abandons Nuclear Weapons And Aquires Fox News

2007-04-14T09:44:00.001-07:00

Tehran, Iran [CBB] - Iranian newspaper, Kayhan, is reporting that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has abandoned his nuclear ambitions while choosing to pursue another sinister method of mass destruction: Fox News. After witnessing almost every Democratic Presidential candidate run scared from potential debates sponsored by the right leaning cable news station, Ahmadinejad realized that earth scarring, radiation contaminating effects of atomic fallout were nothing compared to the destruction of Bill O'Reilly and just one of his monologues.

"With a nightly line up of Hannity and Colmes, On The Record with Greta, and the O'Reilly Factor we can terrorize more Americans then if we released a dirty bomb in the middle of downtown Los Angeles," Ahmadinejad is quoted in Sunday's Kayhan, "By acquirng Fox News we can torture the infidel Americans on a nightly basis from 4PM to 8PM [please check your local listings].

Upon learning of Iran's acquisition of Fox News, Democratic leaders quickly changed their diplomatic stance. Gone were the pleas for international sanctions and open dialog only to be replaced by calls for war.

"We must remain on the offensive in the war on conservatism," Sen. Russ Feingold said during a taping of Anderson Cooper 360, "What's the good of having the world's most powerful military if we can't lob a few Tomahawk missiles and take out Geraldo while he talks with O'Reilly?

Rudy In Da Hizzle...Almost My Hizzle

2007-04-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday morning I received a phone call from the Rudy Giuliani campaign asking if I would be interested in hosting a meet and greet event at my house. While trying to keep my voice from cracking with excitement like a teenage boy, I said yes. Hell, yes...I would be honored. Unfortunately things changed and instead of coming to Waukee, the Mayor is going to Grimes.

Almost famous...

The bright side to all of this is that I still get to invite about 10 ten people to come with me to Grimes and meeting Rudy. To say I am excited would be an understatement. However, I am trying to mute that excitement until I actually meet him, because like I just said...things change.

The campaign staff told me that they would like to still use my house for a future meeting, but I suspect that is similar to me telling someone "I'll keep your resume on file." There's always hope, right? Heck, I would even be honored if Bill Clinton wanted to visit my house, of course I would have to change the bed sheets when he left.

When Rudy campaign staffer, Tony Delgado, first asked me if I was interested in hosting the Mayor I asked him if he was aware I could only vote once? I mean usually things like this require a little quid pro quo. Sure I could probably disenfranchise a few voters, but would the Rudy campaign still come out ahead?

In the end I consider it Rudy and his staffers' loss that they aren't coming to my house...I was going to let they play my Nintendo Wii. Heck I might have even thrown a game of Wii Tennis just to make Giuliani feel good. On second thought, who the heck I am kidding? I'll support and vote for Rudy, but I would kick his butt in Wii Sports...

Jordan And Mickey Mouse Tied for 10th Place In The GOP Presidential Candidacy Race

2007-04-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

I don't want to get too excited, but a recent Gallop poll has shown some interesting developments. If I am reading the numbers correctly, it seems I have about the same likelihood of being the next US President as Sam Brownback and Mike Huckabee. Seriously guys...one percent? I haven't even held my announcement press conference yet which is sure to give me a polling statistical bump. Hell at this rate I will probably start to pass Mitt Romney even though he will have raised millions of dollars to my buck seventy five. I mean how harsh is it that Mitt is getting beat by two guys that haven't even announced they are running? Weak.

Rudy Giuliani
38

John McCain
16

Newt Gingrich
10

Fred Thompson
10

Mitt Romney
6

Tommy Thompson
2

Ron Paul
2

Tom Tancredo
2

George Pataki
2

Mike Huckabee
1

Jeremie Jordan
1

Mickey Mouse
1

Chuck Hagel
1

Sam Brownback
1

Duncan Hunter
1

Jim Gilmore
*

I Couldn't Have Written The Satire Better Myself...What? It's Not Satire?

2007-04-10T05:25:00.000-07:00

This would be funny if it wasn't true.

WASHINGTON -- The CIA and Pentagon would for the first time be required to assess the national security implications of climate change under proposed legislation intended to elevate global warming to a national defense issue.

The bipartisan proposal, which its sponsors expect to pass the Congress with wide support, calls for the director of national intelligence to conduct the first-ever "national intelligence estimate" on global warming.

The effort would include pinpointing the regions at highest risk of humanitarian suffering and assessing the likelihood of wars erupting over diminishing water and other resources.

The measure also would order the Pentagon to undertake a series of war games to determine how global climate change could affect US security, including "direct physical threats to the United States posed by extreme weather events such as hurricanes."

Your local weatherman just become the new Jack Bauer.

Anyone up for a nice game of chess?

From The Socialist's Handbook

2007-04-09T05:43:00.000-07:00

While I somewhat agree that changes to current Medicare system need to be made, I found this passage from the Des Moines Register's editorial board sadly humorous:

Perhaps it was the intent of the 2003 Congress to dismantle this public program through privatization [of Medicare].

Today's Congress should take steps to prevent that from happening.

Aaargh!! Quick, someone stop the privatization of government programs before they find a more cost efficient, better solution!

I feel like I am banging my head against the wall, but I can't make this clear enough: all problems are NOT solved by greater government involvement. Regardless of what the communists at the Register believe.

I Support Rudy Giuliani Because I Am Pro-Life

2007-04-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

Take a deep breath and calm down.

The last few weeks have seen a constant onslaught of attacks towards Rudy Giuliani's "conservative" credentials. This is, of course, to be expected as he, is and will remain, the front runner for the Republican Presidential nomination. Where the real disconnect between Giuliani and the support from those on the Republican far right seems to be on the issues of abortion and gun control. I will not lie, those are two of the issues I disagree with Giuliani on as well, but neither one will stop me from voting for him.

Abortion is an abhorred practice that sacrifices one life for the supposed sanctity of another. For someone like myself who is against the practice, it is unfortunately perfectly legal in this country and likely to stay that way until the Supreme Court chimes in again. It simply won't matter who is President as the ground battle on abortion will be at the state level and in the courts. Had abortions stayed rare like they were when Roe V. Wade was first established in the early 70s, instead of the responsibility dodging form of birth control it has become today, then I would imagine it wouldn't have ever become such a hot topic issue. Consider this sobering fact: for every four children that are born in this country, there is one abortion. If you wanted an actual number instead of a percentage, try on this one on for size: there are about 1.3 million abortions every year in the US. It's those type of statistics that are what, in my opinion, has turned our society into one of depravity and irresponsibility.

And that's why I support Rudy, because I am pro-life. Confused? Let me explain. As I have stated before I support Giuliani because he has the results to back up his words. No one else in the Presidential candidacy field can say that. They can offer up their plans, but each one is built on a foundation of hopes and prayers, but no concrete proof. I want abortions to end, but I am also a realist. The complete overruling of Roe V. Wade is a pipe dream. However removing some of the contributing social factors that lead to abortions is a more realistic and obtainable goal.

Consider these statistics:

New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s Socially Conservative Reforms: 1993-2001

Abortions - total performed in NYC:

103,997 [1993]
86,466 [2001]
-16.9%

Abortions - [Medicare funded]:

45,006 [1993]
34,772 [2001]
-22.9%

Abortion ratio per live births:

890 [1993]
767 [2001]
-13.8%

Welfare recipients:

1,112,490 [1993]
469,142 [2001]
-57.8%

Welfare recipients placed in employment:

9,215 [1993]
151,376 [2001]
+1542.7%

Unemployment rate:

10.4% [1993]
5.7% [2001]
-42.5%

Total crimes:

600,346 [1993]
263,764 [2001]
-56.1%

Name me one other conservative politician that decreased total abortions by almost 17% over an eight year period? McCain? Romney? Ultra conservative darling, Sam Brownback? Anyone can give lip service and claim to be conservative, but Pro-Choice Giuliani did more in eight years to curb abortion rates, then any conservative Republican has done in the last three decades. Is the only litmus test for being a conservative whether or not you're against abortion? I am guessing it must be, because until last November the Republican controlled congress was supposedly conservative. Other than a hand full of Republicans in the US House and Senate before 2006 most of them would have called themselves "pro-life," but I counter that few of them were actually really conservative. I am sorry, but being conservative goes a little deeper than one issue and three wives.

While the rest of the conservative field talks about ending abortion, I'll follow behind Giuliani as he dramatically decreases it. One approach makes for a nice advertising tagline that appeals to pro-life voters, the other approach saves lives. I'd prefer to be proactive by changing what you can. Most pro-life supporters only real contribution to the cause is starting a dead pool on the remaining liberal Supreme Court justices every time they get a sniffle or a cough.

And let me leave you with this hard truth: Giuliani is correct, abortion is currently a constitutional right. Any infringement on that would be a violation of the law. Nothing like getting smeared for stating he would uphold the law.

So what do you want: lip service or real social change that decreases the number of abortions? Or maybe labels and tags such as "pro-life" mean more to you than the lives of the unborn.

Why Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Did Mean Cheat Culver...

2007-04-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

The Des Moines Register's in depth coverage is a little bit more thorough than I thought...

Peloser

2007-04-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

Nancy Pelosi meet the Logan Act.

But apparently trampling on US laws isn't Pelosi's only trick:

Prime Minister Olmert denies peace message to Assad

The Prime Minister's Office issued a rare "clarification" Wednesday that, in gentle diplomatic terms, contradicted US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's statement in Damascus that she had brought a message from Israel about a willingness to engage in peace talks.

You know Pelosi fucked up when even the USA Today is condemning her:

Like it or not (and we do not), President Bush's policy has been to refuse to negotiate with Syria until it changes its behavior.

I thought she was a fool before, but this seals it.

However what seals Pelosi's actions as stupid is the fact that Jimmy Carter approves it. Need I say more?

Can I Get A PC Word For War?

2007-04-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Because if it doesn't have a catch phrase name, then maybe it doesn't exist...

The House Armed Services Committee is banishing the global war on terror from the 2008 defense budget.

This is not because the war has been won, lost or even called off, but because the committee’s Democratic leadership doesn’t like the phrase.

A memo for the committee staff, circulated March 27, says the 2008 bill and its accompanying explanatory report that will set defense policy should be specific about military operations and “avoid using colloquialisms.”

The government uses 'colloquialisms' all the time, but when it comes to war they draw the line.

Thoughts On The Rudy Rally

2007-04-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

As I showed up for the Rudy Giuliani speech at Valley High School in West Des Moines, I was expecting the usual conservative rally items like: burning crosses, kleagle hats, and the blood of the poor and wretched. Unfortunately I must have got the event at little later than I thought, because there were no crosses, hats or blood left, which was a major disappointment to my wife who attending her first political rally.

The information I received about the event stated that doors would open at 5:30PM and Giuliani would speak at 6:30PM. Of course I knew 6:30 really meant no earlier than 6:45, but it quickly [sorry wrong descriptive word...insert slowly for quickly] turned into 7:30. Yeah, it was a long boring wait. No wait scratch that, it was an excruciating long and boring wait. A looped track of every stereotypical conservative country song, minus the Dixie Chicks, played monotonously turning the minutes into hours. I knew the wait was getting bad when the songs started to repeat themselves [I know all country music songs repeat themselves, but I mean it literally this time]. I swore to my wife if I had to hear Alan Jackson's Itty Bitty one more time I was going to vote for Hillary; and at the time I was serious. Hell, I am half serious now.

In an effort to pass the time, my wife and I played a game of "Celebrity Look-A-Like." We found a dead ringer of Tim Curry, a so-so John Kerry/Lurch, the real Jerry Springer [I swear to God, it was Jerry Springer...it was a Giuliani rally after all] and not to mention the entire casts of Will and Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy [once again it was a Giuliani rally after all...not that there's anything wrong with that].

Let me make this clear to any Rudy staffer that might be reading this: chairs are not socialist, communist, liberal tools. Chairs are nonpartisan and should be used. When the elderly are leaving because they can longer stand...to...um...stand, it's time to put out a folding chair or fifty. I get; the Rudy campaign wanted their precious press release photo opportunity, however as I reported earlier the Des Moines Register didn't cover the event anyway so they should have at least provided a freakin' chair. I bet Hillary's rally had chairs, if not cots [I would use a Hillary speech to overcome insomnia if it wasn't for the nightmares it might cause]. Photo ops. are nice, but Republicans need to understand they will never have the large audiences that Democrats play to because of one very important reason: Republicans have jobs. Democrats attend rallies in droves, if for no other reason than than to support their gravy train existence. Republican rallies should always show their attendance numbers like this:

The Rudy Giuliani in West Des Moines on Tuesday night event drew over 400 people*

* indicates the actual number of people in attendance, but does not include the 100, 000 that would have attended if they weren't tired from working all day.

For all my bitching, when Rudy finally took the stage it was worth it. He's a politician, I get that; but I like the fact that he's not as polished as most politicians. That's not to say his speech wasn't engaging, just the opposite; but it wasn't perfect. The words didn't always flow and some of the analogies were weak, but it was real. I am tired of perfect scripted bullshit from politicians telling me exactly what I want to hear. I want a leader will to confront me with the things I don't want to hear [but need to hear]; Giuliani is that person.

Giuliani is running on his leadership skills, which are vast and certainly unequaled by any of the other candidates in this campaign cycle. His record in New York can not be debate even by the most cynical among us. You can disagree with some of his tactics and decisions [both personal and public] but you CAN'T dispute the results. You can't, so just stop it; will save you the time of looking foolish.

Rudy had a great command of the audience and even stepped out from behind the podium. It was when he was walking around in front of the crowd when he appeared most comfortable. Stick with that approach Rudy. He focused on two things: fiscal restraint and staying on the offensive on the war on terrorism. I thought I was going to tear up...it was beautiful to hear a conservative say such things again. I damn I am getting all choked up just remembering it. Fiscal restraint...sniffle. Once again, while most Republicans will try to make the same case as Rudy, only Giuliani has the results to back it up.

The only other disappointment outside of the chairs, was that I missed all the protesters save one. I met a lady from Iowans For Sensible Priorities who wants to take a portion of the Pentagon budget and use it for social services like universal health care. She showed me a pie chart [which you can view on the website]which was printed on a gingerbread cookie and said we only need a small portion of the Pentagon's money for fund her pet projects. I felt a little sorry for her, because after just a few questions from me she was stumbling for answers. She clearly had a predetermined speech and was unable to work off the cuff. I only asked her things like: which part of the Pentagon's budget, in her opinion, would be suitable for cuts? Border defense? Troop benefits? Homeland security? No response. Then I asked her why we couldn't cut funding to the other side of her graph from such things as social services and administrative costs? She stammered, because "those things are all good." All good? All other areas of the federal government besides the Pentagon are so well managed that no cuts can be made? Again no answer. She quickly left me as a reporter from the Iowa State journalism department came up to us in mid conservation. Unfortunately for her, he grilled her harder than I did.

An event this early in the election cycle is not without it's faults, but it allowed me an opportunity to personally see the man I support for President. It reaffirmed my beliefs. It also reaffirmed my belief that chairs are wonderful inventions and listening to an hour and a half of country music is enough to make me vote Democrat.

The Liberal Ragister

2007-04-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

I went and saw Rudy Giuliani speak last night, but I will have more on that in a post later today. I should be clear though, I think I saw Rudy speak last night. The reason for my hesitation stems from the fact that I am not sure the event took place. Why do you ask? Well, no less than four 2008 Presidential candidates spoke in Iowa yesterday [yes it's curse of living in Iowa], but Register apparently only had the staff to cover three of them:

Edwards crowd zeroes in on issues
Clinton urges prevention of Bush veto
Biden: No president is above the law

Now help me out here, but does anyone notice a common link between three people listed? Anyone?

Scenes From An Iowa Family

2007-04-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

A man and his young son were in their minivan traveling to the local mall to walk around bored while four women window shop for hours in stores like Pottery Barn and Bath & Body Works. Both the father and the boy were quietly trying to prepare their mindset for the grueling afternoon that undoubtedly lay before them. Then silence was broken by the boy's cousin riding with them who tried to convince the boy of something the boy knew to be false.

"Don't believe everything you read or here," the boy responded to his cousin.

In the front of the van the father, upon hearing his son's words,` raised his head a little higher while smiling a little wider. The man was amused that after countless attempts to penetrate his son's skull with wisdom in between the boy's Super Smash Bros. Melee matches had finally paid off. The father hoped that his son's new found knowledge and skepticism would help him as he proceeds through life and further into the liberal abyss known as the public school system.

However the man was jolted back into the moment, unaware his son hadn't completely finished his thought.

"But Britney Spears is shaved bald, that much is true."

After regaining control of swerving van, the father shared a good laugh with his son. And he was careful to make sure the boy was speaking of Britney's shaved head, thus preparing his son for the same question that was sure to come from his mother.

Why I Won't Vote For McCain

2007-04-01T05:07:00.001-07:00

Reason #1564: Contemplated leaving the Republican party.

From The Daily Oakland Press [2004]:
McCain has said he would not run with Kerry, but last month he renewed speculation when he was asked on ABC's "Good Morning America" whether he would consider running with Kerry. He replied, "Obviously, I would entertain it."

From The Hill:
“Look,” McCain said on the radio show, “I was approached by Democrats, sure. I was approached by Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) to run as his running mate in 2004 and I rejected it out of hand.”Laughing, McCain added, “It was the smartest thing I ever did.”

Let me be clear, I am not upset with McCain contemplated leaving the Republican party, hell I do that on a daily basis. What concerns me is that he was contemplating leaving the Republican party to join John Freakin' Kerry.

And to be fair though, when McCain says it's the 'smartest thing' he's ever done [saying no to Kerry], it's not like he has a large collection of 'smart things' to pull from.

NEWS FLASH: Ex-Partner Of Giuliani May Face Charges

2007-03-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

It's getting deep, so might I suggest a pair of boots....

Federal prosecutors have told Bernard B. Kerik, whose nomination as homeland security secretary in 2004 ended in scandal, that he is likely to be charged with several felonies, including tax evasion and conspiracy to commit wiretapping.

Kerik's indictment could set the stage for a courtroom battle that would draw attention to Kerik's extensive business and political dealings with former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who personally recommended him to President Bush for the Cabinet. Giuliani, the front-runner for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination according to most polls, later called the recommendation a mistake.

The former mayor is not in any legal jeopardy, according to legal sources directly familiar with the investigation, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the inquiry is ongoing. He and his consulting firm have cooperated in the FBI's long-running investigation of Kerik.

Last night, Giuliani's office declined to comment on Kerik, instead referring a reporter to remarks the former mayor made earlier this week in Teaneck, N.J. "I hope, when people evaluate me, they evaluate the things that I think I did that were wrong and that were mistakes and the things that I did that were right, and I think the public record has been one largely of great success," Giuliani said then.

I personally like how the article isn't really about Kerik, so much as it's about Kerik AND GIULIANI,

So Kerik is being investigated for income tax evasion and somehow this is related to Giuliani's Presidential candidacy? I mean unless, Rudy personally filled out Kerik's 1040, I am at a loss as to how this relates...

Although I put the passage in bold text, I would like everyone to reread the last Giuliani quote from the article:

"I hope, when people evaluate me, they evaluate the things that I think I did that were wrong and that were mistakes and the things that I did that were right, and I think the public record has been one largely of great success"

One of the reasons I like Giuliani is his ability to admit his mistakes and the fact that he doesn't hide from them. You want to find the dirt on Giuliani? Go ask him...he'll hand you the shovel.

UN Resolution Dropped On Iran

2007-03-31T04:40:00.000-07:00

New York [CBB] - As tensions continue to mount over the Iranian capture of 15 British sailors and marines, Prime Minister Tony Blair announced the British had escalated the situation.
At 6:45 AM [EST] a squadron of British and US lawyers descended on the United Nations headquarters in New York delivering a resolution calling for sanctions against Iran.

"If they do not accept our terms they may expect a rain of strongly worded briefs from our legal department the likes of which has never been seen on this Earth," Blair said during a morning press conference.

The White House confirmed Blair's statements, adding that British and US coalition team of writers and legal assistants had been secretly crafting the 500 page document at a military base in Los Alamos, New Mexico. US officials stated that resolution produces 500 times the preambulatory clauses and operative clauses of a normal UN resolution and was code named "Little Book."

International response to the resolution was meant with widespread condemnation. World leaders are calling the US and British governments to exercise restraint while appealing to Blair and President Bush to tone down the combative rhetoric.

"Untold man hours will be required to read through this document as there are no pictures," French President Jacques Chirac said, "this indiscriminate destruction of diplomatic free time while not be tolerated."

Causalities and fallout from the resolution remain sketchy, but the UN staffers have confirmed at least one paper cut and a case of carpel tunnel.

NEWS FLASH: Giuliani's Wife Won't Be A Cabinet Member

2007-03-31T04:26:00.000-07:00

Because overreacting and putting words in people's mouths is so chic now...

Republican presidential contender Rudy Giuliani said Friday his wife will not be a member of his Cabinet or attend most high-level meetings as he sought to clarify his previous statements suggesting she would play a significant role in his administration

Late Friday, the Giuliani campaign issued a statement in which the former New York City mayor suggested that would not be the case.

"Obviously, she will not be a Cabinet member or attend most Cabinet meetings — if any. But she will pursue a campaign to educate Americans on preventing illness and promoting overall health."

In the statement, the former mayor sought to play down his own remarks and suggested any discussion of a policy role for his wife was merely prompted by Walters' questioning.

"Judith and I got a good laugh after we heard that she would be a member of the Cabinet, especially after she made it clear in the interview with Barbara Walters that she is not particularly interested in politics or policy," he said. "Like most couples, we rely on each other and support each other, but we have different interests. My interest is in politics and deciding policy. Judith is a nurse. Her interest is in educating people on how to stay healthy."

n 1990s, first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton played a prominent role in her husband's administration, including a failed effort on health care reform. Her policy efforts created some problems for the couple.

Hillary's failed health care reform created "some problems" for the couple? Did anyone else laugh at that line? To be honest, I could care less about the Giuliani story, but I thought the Clinton line was so comical that I had to quote it.

Some problems...stop you're slaying me.

And have I mentioned how much fun it is being a cut and paste blogger?

NEWS FLASH: Rudy Giuliani Solely Responsible For 9/11 Firefighter Deaths

2007-03-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

From the Washington Post:

Giuliani, the leader in polls of Republican voters for his party's nomination, has been faulted on two major issues:

_ His administration's failure to provide the World Trade Center's first responders with adequate radios, a long-standing complaint from relatives of the firefighters killed when the twin towers collapsed. The Sept. 11 Commission noted the firefighters at the World Trade Center were using the same ineffective radios employed by the first responders to the 1993 terrorist attack on the trade center.

Regenhard, at a 2004 commission hearing in Manhattan, screamed at Giuliani, "My son was murdered because of your incompetence!" The hearing was a perfect example of the 9/11 duality: Commission members universally praised Giuliani at the same event.

_ A November 2001 decision to step up removal of the massive rubble pile at ground zero. The firefighters were angered when the then-mayor reduced their numbers among the group searching for remains of their lost "brothers," focusing instead on what they derided as a "scoop and dump" approach. Giuliani agreed to increase the number of firefighters at ground zero just days after ordering the cutback.

More than 5 1/2 years later, body parts are still turning up in the trade center site.

Everyone knows that Mayors are like dictators and apparently New York City doesn't have any sort of city council. I don't want to start any conspiracy theories, but maybe Rudy and Bush plotted 9/11 for political gain.

Hear me out...hear me out...

Bush and Giuliani meet and discuss how they need a catastrophic event so Bush can invade Iraq, but also provide a situation where Giuliani can show great leadership to use a springboard to succeed Bush as President. Bush promises to handle all the details, save one...Giuliani is to provide inadequate radios to the NYC firefighters.

It so brilliant in its' simplicity.

But they didn't account for one detail...unions.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me...

2007-03-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

Copied and pasted straight from the Century of The No Common Sense Iowan:

Now tell me which party is the party of family values?

This is about as deep as the left gets. Hold up Edwards like some kind of champion because he can put his need for power above his wife's cancer, but don't forget to throw in a cheap shot at the right.

Time to remover the blinders, the jackass as run off the course.

President Bush: Raw

2007-03-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

Thank you, thank you...the President will be here all week. Please make sure you tip your wait staff...

Steve Forbes Joins Team Rudy as National Co-Chair and Senior Policy Advisor

2007-03-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

I've always liked Steve Forbes, but I never really took him seriously a political candidate. However as a senior policy advisor to Giuliani is a perfect fit. Rudy has always been a spending hawk and with Forbes' background I expect Giuliani's economic plan for America to be far and away the most sound of any of the candidates. And Sam Brownback supporters...you can take the RINO acronym and shove it.

New York City – The Rudy Giuliani Presidential Exploratory Committee today announced that Steve Forbes, President and Chief Executive Officer of Forbes and Editor-in-Chief of Forbes magazine, has endorsed Rudy Giuliani for President of the United States. Mr. Forbes will serve as a National Campaign Co-Chair and Senior Policy Advisor.

"I am honored to support Rudy Giuliani for President," Steve Forbes said. "As Mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani showed how exercising fiscal discipline – including tax cuts – lowers deficits, spurs economic growth, and increases revenue. It is time the rest of the country benefit from a true fiscal conservative leader who gets real results."

"Steve and I share an economic vision that embraces supply-side economics, tax relief, and spending restraint," said Mayor Giuliani. "I look forward to working with Steve and am proud to have him as a member of our team."

About Steve Forbes:

Mr. Forbes is a distinguished leader in the business community. He is President and Chief Executive Officer of Forbes and Editor-in-Chief of Forbes magazine, and is also a frequent business commentator for Fox News Channel's "Forbes on Fox".

In 1985, President Reagan appointed Mr. Forbes as Chairman of the bi-partisan Board for International Broadcasting (BIB), where he directed the programming for Radio Free Europe and Radio Liberty. He was reappointed by President George H.W. Bush and served until 1993.

In 1996 and 2000, Mr. Forbes ran as a Republican candidate for president on a platform that advocated a flat income tax.

He is currently on the boards of The Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation, the Heritage Foundation and The Foundation for the Defense of Democracies, and is the author of two books on political and economic policy issues.

I just got the chills; maybe it was the ghost of Reagan that just brushed up against me.

The Building Blocks of Socialism

2007-03-29T05:15:00.000-07:00

Everything I needed to know in life, I learned by building communes with multi-colored interlocking blocks:

Some Seattle school children are being told to be skeptical of private property rights. This lesson is being taught by banning Legos.

A ban was initiated at the Hilltop Children's Center in Seattle. According to an article in the winter 2006-07 issue of "Rethinking Schools" magazine, the teachers at the private school wanted their students to learn that private property ownership is evil.
According to the article, the students had been building an elaborate "Legotown," but it was accidentally demolished. The teachers decided its destruction was an opportunity to explore "the inequities of private ownership." According to the teachers, "Our intention was to promote a contrasting set of values: collectivity, collaboration, resource-sharing, and full democratic participation."

The children were allegedly incorporating into Legotown "their assumptions about ownership and the social power it conveys." These assumptions "mirrored those of a class-based, capitalist society -- a society that we teachers believe to be unjust and oppressive."

Of course they believe it's unjust because someone has more than them. However if they held the deeds to all the land, I guessing their opinions might change. One of my favorite Doug Powers-isms is "as AL Gore’s copy of the liberal dictionary teaches us, “we” is always defined as “you, not me.” How true Doug, how true.

At the end of that time, Legos returned to the classroom after the children agreed to several guiding principles framed by the teachers, including that "All structures are public structures" and "All structures will be standard sizes." The teachers quote the children:

"A house is good because it is a community house."

"We should have equal houses. They should be standard sizes."

"It's important to have the same amount of power as other people over your building."

Unfortunately for the teachers at this private school, some capitalist pig's offspring somehow slipped through the venting process and supplied the best commentary on the whole situation:

Not all of the students shared the teachers' anathema to private property ownership. "If I buy it, I own it," one child is quoted saying.

H/T Doug Powers

Iowa Brain Drain: Solved

2007-03-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

For generations Iowa has been a great place to settle down and raise a family. Quiet towns, wonderful schools, and warm inviting people. However when the kids grow up and finish college a large majority of them leave the state for the promise of a better job or a bigger city. A problem to be sure, but the Des Moines Register and the Iowa State Senate have finally figured out a way to solve that age old problem...add sexual orientation to the state's civil rights code.

But it's also a matter of pragmatism. Rejecting the bill risks losing talented young professionals to the growing number of states that ban such discrimination, including neighboring Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois.

Now lets be clear, I am not against adding sexual orientation to the state's civil rights code, but I don't suppose we could keep a little perspective? The US Constitution has always been a simple document open to interpretation, and if you will allow me to cliche, a living document. Iowa's Constitution is kind of exact opposite, with verbiage for nearly every rule and transgression imaginable. So adding a few more words doesn't really matter to me.

However lets be realistic, this isn't going to stop anyone from leaving this state for Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois. Why, do you ask? Minneapolis, Chicago, and...um...Milwaukee. OK so maybe Milwaukee doesn't help my argument, but the point is that Iowa [whether the Register wishes to admit or not] will never be like our neighboring states. We aren't metropolitan and if it was, while we might have a more diverse population, a lot of other people would no longer live here. Some people enjoy the slow pace that Iowa offers.

And I consider this whole time prior to the adding of sexual orientation to Iowa's civil right code to be a lost opportunity. Previously whenever I wanted to fired someone I needed about three incidents of employee neglect to avoid paying unemployment. Little did I know I could have just filled out the unemployment claim by saying the fired employee was gay.

"Joe was a great employee: showed up on time, did his work, and was a joy to be around. But I had to let him go because he like to play with Richard Gere's gerbil."

Call me cynical, but sexual orientation is probably already covered by one of our many other laws. But whatever...pass the law and let the mass immigration of Iowa commence.

Tim Vilsack's Crazy, Insane Blowout Endorsement Sale

2007-03-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

***He's overstocked with 2007 endorsements, political favors, and back room deals. Campaign staffers? He's got it. Union ties? He's got it. A last name that sounds like a pickle? He's gooooot it!!! Everything has got to go as the 2008s are arriving daily. Tom Vilsack's cRaZy, insanE blowout endorsement sale, where you don't have to be a rock star...just a carpet bagging, corrupt Senator from New York. Come and get it...***

Vilsack endorses Hillary Clinton at the same time the Clinton campaign pays off Vilsack's remaining campaign debt. But don't you for one second believe the two are related. Don't do it! I told you don't...stop it...these are two honorable up standing citizens with loads of integrity so if they say it isn't quid pro quo then it isn't. I said stop thinking those thoughts...

Clinton spokesman Phil Singer said suggestions of any endorsement quid pro quo are "ridiculous."

"One thing's got absolutely nothing to do with the other," he said. "They've known each other for years. If she weren't running for president, she'd be doing whatever she can to help retire his debt."

Of course you know why it's ridiculous? Because a Vilsack endorsement isn't worth $400K. Maybe $1.25...$1.75 tops...possibly $2.25 if he was a family member in need of a hand out.

Now Christine Vilsack's endorsement on the other hand...

Fair and Balanced

2007-03-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hillary...Obama...

Obama...Hillary...

I opened up The Socialist's Handbook [you probably know it by the name: Des Moines Register] and there were editorials praising Hillary's aged to perfection 14 year old health care program. In all fairness though, ABC's Good Morning America did say that Clinton's health care proposal in 1992 was "ahead of it's time." Of course, you must understand that if you give one candidate press, it's important that you give equal time to their opponents. Hench a beautiful and glowing assessment of Barack Obama. The man is a damn rock star, don't believe me ask anyone in the press.

Alas, someday hopefully a Republican candidate will enter the Presidential race so we read the press coverage about them too.*

* The reader is asked to assume that Jeremie used heavy amounts of sarcasm when writing this post. Not much thought or grammar, but lots of sarcasm.

Mmmm....Paste

2007-03-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

Ah the joys of being a cut and paste blogger. Being on the Rudy Giuliani email list means I get to turn off my brain for a few posts every now and then. The Rudy campaign gives me information and all I have to do is right click, select all, copy, open up the CBB interface, and paste.

No wonder liberal blogs update 50 times a day, this shit is easy...

Dear Friend,

We wanted to share some exciting news with you and invite you to be a part of it. Mayor Rudy Giuliani will be coming to Iowa on April 3rd, and wants to see and hear from you.

What: Rally with Mayor Rudy Giuliani

Where: Valley High School

1140 Valley West Drive

West Des Moines, IA 50266

When: Tuesday, April 3rd at 6:30pm

* Doors open at 5:30pm, please come early to ensure a good seat

There will be parking at the school.

This event is free and open to the public.

Please RSVP to iowa@joinrudy2008.com and let us know who from your family and friends will be attending.

Please forward this onto your family, friends and co-workers and ask them to reserve their spots early.

We look forward to seeing you there.

- The IA Rudy Team

Hell Freezes Over: SNL was funny

2007-03-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

It only took them ripping off a bit that Conan O'Brien has been doing for years, but whatever...

Peyton Manning United Way CHANNELSURFING
Uploaded by asdf221

Stolen from Ace Of Spades who stole it from Hot Air, who stole it from someone else.

CBB's Cordless Power Tool Lifetime Achievement Award

2007-03-24T05:09:00.000-07:00

Ah...how times changes. It seems like only yesterday Democrats were riping Republican majority leader, Tom Delay's use of brides and threats to get spending bills passed in the US House. It was bad in the past because the Republicans were in power, but now it's good because Democrats are in power.

Liberal logic astounds me. Regaining the majority and the power that comes with, is really nothing more than supplying the Democrats all the rope they need and then sitting back and watch them hang themselves.

I hate pork in bills, but I really hate it when the safety and success of our troops is on the line. Creating a bill that has no real chance of becoming law is completely irresponsible.

Fuck every single politician associated with this bill, including the Republicans.

For the Gateway Pundit [via The Club For Growth]:

Aquaculture Operations: Provides $5 million for payments to "aquaculture operations and other persons in the U.S. engaged in the business of breeding, rearing, or transporting live fish" (such as shellfish, oysters and clams) to cover economic losses incurred as a result of an emergency order issued by the Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service on October 24, 2006.

Spinach: Provides $25 million for payments to spinach producers that were unable to market spinach crops as a result of the FDA Public Health Advisory issued on September 14, 2006.

Hurricane Citrus Program: Provides $100 million to provide assistance to citrus producers (such as orange producers) in the area declared a disaster related to Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.

NASA: Provides $35 million to NASA, under the "exploration capabilities" account, for "expenses related to the consequences of Hurricane Katrina."

Corps of Engineers: Provides $1.3 billion to Corps of Engineers for continued repairs on the levee system in New Orleans.

FEMA: Provides $4.3 billion for disaster relief at the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). The bill would eliminate the state and local matching requirements for certain FEMA assistance (in connection with Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Wilma, and Dennis) in the states of Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, and Florida, and provides that the federal portion of these costs will be 100%.

HUD Indian Housing: Provides $80 million in tenant-based rental assistance for public and Indian housing under HUD. Crop Disaster Assistance: Provides roughly $3 billion in agriculture assistance to crop producers and livestock owners experiencing losses in 2005, 2006, or 2007 due to bad weather.

Shrimp: Provides $120 million to the shrimp industry for expenses related to the consequences of Hurricane Katrina.

Frozen Farmland: Provides $20 million for the cleanup and restoration of farmland damaged by freezing temperatures during a time period beginning on January 1, 2007 through the date of enactment.

Milk Income Loss Contract (MILC) Program: Provides $283 million for payments under the MILC program, to extend the life of the program for one year, through September 30, 2008. MILC provides payments to dairy farmers when milk prices fall below a certain rate.

Peanut Storage Subsidies: Provides $74 million to extend peanut storage payments through 2007. The Peanut Subsidy Storage program, which is set to expire this year, pays farmers for the storage, handling, and other costs for peanuts voluntarily placed in the marketing loan program.

FDA Office of Women's Health: Provides $4 million for the Office of Women's Health at the Food and Drug Administration.

National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA): Provides $60.4 million for fishing communities, Indian tribes, individuals, small businesses, including fishermen, fish processors, and related businesses for assistance related to "the commercial fishery failure." According to the Committee Report, this funding is to be used to provide disaster relief for those along the California and Oregon coast affected by the "2006 salmon fishery disaster in the Klamath River."

Avian Flu: Provides $969 million for the Department of HHS to continue to prepare and respond to an avian flu pandemic. Of this funding, $870 million is to be used for the development of vaccines.

Secure Rural Schools Act (Forest County Payments): Provides $400 million to be used for one-time payments to be allocated to states under the Secure Rural Schools and Community Self-Determination Act of 2000. This program provides a funding stream (known as forest county payments) to counties with large amounts of Bureau of Land Management land, in order to compensate for the loss of receipt-sharing payments on this land caused by decreased revenue from timber sales due to environmental protections for endangered species. The authorization for these forest county payments expired at the end of FY 2006, and counties received their last payment under the Act in December 2006.

LIHEAP: Provides $400 million for the Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP).

Vaccine Compensation: Provides $50 million to compensate individuals for injuries caused by the H5N1 vaccine, which is a flu vaccine. Payment to Widow of Rep. Norwood: Provides $165,200 to Gloria W. Norwood, the widow of former Rep. Charlie Norwood (R-GA), an RSC Member, who passed away last month. In the Emergency Supplemental Appropriations Act of 2005 (H.R. 1268), Congress provided $162,100 to Doris Matsui, the widow of former Rep. Robert Matsui.

Capitol Power Plant: Provides $50 million to the Capitol Power Plant for asbestos abatement and safety improvements. Liberia: Provides that money appropriated for FY 2007 for the Bilateral Economic Assistance program at the Department of Treasury may be used to assist Liberia in retiring its debt arrearages to the International Monetary Fund, the International Bank for Reconstruction and Development, and the African Development Bank.

SCHIP: Provides $750 million to the Secretary of HHS to provide assistance to the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) "shortfall states,", in the form of an amount "as the Secretary determines will eliminate the estimated shortfall." This provision is direct spending that is essentially capped at $750 million and designated as an emergency to avoid PAYGO constraints.

Minimum Wage Increase: Increases the federal minimum wage from $5.15-per-hour to $7.25-per-hour over two-plus years-a 41% increase. Yields $16.5 billion in private-sector costs over five years.

Tax Increases and Shifts: Implements several tax increases and shifts, including: denying the lowest maximum capital gains tax rate for certain minors and adults, extending the suspension of interest payments due to the IRS, and adjusting the deadlines for corporate estimated tax payments. Costs taxpayers $1.380 billion over the FY2007-FY2017 period.

President Bush Reacts To The Democrat Emergency War Spending Bill

2007-03-24T05:01:00.000-07:00

You know I am not one to worship opinion polls, but damn it...if President Bush would talk to the American people like this more often his polls numbers would be through the roof.

Shattered Glass

2007-03-23T05:07:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't previously read this on a liberal blog or Sam Brownback's blog, Rudy and Judith Giuliani have six previous marriages between them. Apparently this is a big deal to ultra conservatives. I am sorry, let me rephrase that: apparently the press thinks this is a big deal to ultra conservatives. Now I can't speak for the ultra conservative base in this country, but I am pretty sure they are not perfect either. I am sorry, let me rephrase that: I know they're not perfect either.

There is only one thing worse than being pious and that is stereotyping someone as pious based on your own interpretation of how you think they will react to certain socio-behaviors. And that is exactly what the press and political gurus are doing...speaking for a group of people that haven't said a word. Giuliani is running away with this election based on his leadership. You can not fault the man's success as mayor of New York City. So just can't. Were his terms perfect? No, hell no; but then no politician is and neither are his accomplishments. For the Democrats to beat Giuliani, they must be beat him in the Republican primary. Yes, you read that correctly.

I am stating right here on the Corn Beltway Boys that Rudy Giuliani will be the next President of the United States if the Republicans of this country don't fuck it up. Hillary knows it, Obama knows, and if Edwards was deeper than a hair cut and a smile he would know it too.

The problem for Giuliani's opponents is there he has proof of his unwavering leadership: 9/11. You couple 9/11 with his results as mayor then you have the most qualified resume for President that this country has seen in decades. So how do you beat him, because people like Hillary can't put all her post-office-name-changing sponsored Senate bills up against Giuliani's track record?

Sling some mud. Keep the press questioning Rudy's conservative tag. Put doubt in the voter's mind. Create baseless acronyms that no real politician could live up to like RINO [Republican In Name Only].

I stand before the readers of CBB as a broken, failed person who has known moments of victory and success. I am neither perfect nor do I claim to be. Giuliani's faults when placed next to the rest of the Presidential candidates are like a strain on Monica dress. If he starts breaking the law instead of hearts, then I might have a problem.

It comes down to this: people who live in glass house shouldn't throw stones. I am sorry, let me rephrase that: the press shouldn't throw stones on behalf of those people living in glass houses.

***For Full Disclosure, it should be noted that I support the Rudy Giuliani for President campaign. But I bet you already knew that...

James Hetfield Promises To Get Completely Drunk While Writing The New Metallica Album

2007-03-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

Lamenting a lack of raw emotion and good music on their last five studio albums, Metallica lead singer, James Hetfield, announced he was going to resume binge drinking in an effort to "get back to his roots."

"I came to a realization the other day when I started to think of what the 19 year old James Hetfield would think if he saw where I was today," Hetfield said in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, "the 19 year old James was a drunk who liked to trash hotel rooms, while the 43 year old James is sober and has a psychologist that tours with his band. I am pretty sure the 19 year old James would call me a poser and kick my ass. For Christ's sake we were occasionally called Alcohollica for freakin' reason and it's time to get back to that."

Hetfield admitted hitting the Jagermeister and Coors Light was "like riding a bicycle; you never forget how." Being a belligerent drunk, Hetfield has once again started lording over the song writing process in Metallica and the new album has begun to sound an awful lot like the Master of Puppets.

"Writing when I am fucked up is a very liberating experience," Hetfield said, "in the old days I would stumble into the studio and record a few songs. Then the next day when I was sober I would try to relearn everything I played from the night before. I am actually a better guitarist when I am blitzed, but if you have ever listened to St. Anger then you probably already knew that."

Hetfield went on say that not only is the music better when he's drunk, but that the lyrics ironically sound better too.

"Take for instance these lines from Harvester of Sorrow: 'My Life Suffocates, Planting Seeds of Hate, I've Loved, Turned to Hate, Trapped Far Beyond My Fate.' I have literally no idea what I was trying to say, but it sounds so damn cool. That's what being shit-faced does for me. Now, in contrast consider this chorus from Fanatic: 'Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock, Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock.' I mean if I was drunk you could almost excuse that, but I was clean. The worst part is that we decided to record it, so I can't even blow it off like it was some bad alcohol induced hallucination."

The new, constantly plowed Helfield did acknowledge that relationships between his fellow Metallica band members have both improved and disintegrated since he went back to the bottle.

"The first thing I did when I got off the wagon again was to call up Lars [Ulrich] and tell him how much of a fucking pussy I think he is," Hetfield said, "he cried of course and said I hurt his feelings, but told him he could shove his feelings up his ass and put them right next to his personal art collection. This exchange lead to the creation of a new song entitled Just Shut Up And Drum."

On the flip side, Hetlfield said he and lead guitarist, Kirk Hammett, have a better understanding of each other now that he's back on week long benders.

"James told me that it was time to put guitar solos back into our songs and if Lars didn't like it 'could suck my dick. So, needless to say, that made me happy,'" Hammett said recalling a 4 AM phone call he received from Hetfield, "James and I had a good conversation and got back on the same page muscially in between the twenty-three times that he told me that 'I love you, man.'"

Hammett expressed a little apprehension at having to solo again, as he admitted he hadn't played a decent solo since To Live Is To Die all the way back on the ...And Justice For All album.

"To be honest most of my solos from the black album up through St. Anger sound like they belong in a Def Leppard song, so I've had to start practicing again," Hammett admitted, "I've playing a lot of Guitar Hero II on my PS2 and I just finished Kiss' Strutter and began working on Warrant's Cherry Pie."

Expect the new Metallica album to hit the store shelves as soon as Hetfield can sober up enough to lay down the vocals. Tentative recent date is set for November 2012.

Bush Fires Federal Cafeteria Chefs

2007-03-19T06:22:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON D.C.[CBB] - In a move that is being described as palately motivated, the Bush administration fired nine US federal cooks after an incident involving red beans and rice. Democrats were quick to point out the expelled culinary professionals were only from judicial and legislatives branch cafeterias.

"These mass firings could be end up being Bush's Chicken Lasagna with White Sauce-Gate [referring to the Nixon scandal involving the 1972 break-in at the Sizzler]," DNC chairman Howard Dean said in fund raising letter to donors, "by excluding the White House kitchen staff from the layoffs President Bush has sent a message that dietary balance established by the founding bakers of this country do not apply to his administration."

Republicans defended the White House's actions by pointing out that former President Clinton fired all 42 federal chiefs that specialized in seafood once it was discovered that House Speaker, Newt Gingrich, had openly stated he enjoyed a good shrimp and crab bisque.

"As usual the Democrats have completely overreacted to President Bush's aromatic change in direction," White House spokesman Tony Snow said while defending the firings, "if the Democrats still carve some red beans and rice, then I highly recommend they try one of the 14 Washington D.C. area Popeye's Chicken locations."

Do Fish Drink Water?

2007-03-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the rush of covering politics you forget about those things in life that are really important. This post is all about slowing down and focusing on a question that I am sure has confounded many of you loyal readers..."do fish drink water?"

According the Oracle, Ask Yahoo!, the answer is yes...

Some fish drink the water they swim in, while others absorb it through osmosis. It just depends on whether the fish lives in freshwater or saltwater.
The MadSci Network explains that fish need to keep a certain concentration of salt in their bodies. Marine fish need to worry about preventing water loss, because they already get plenty of salt. They drink sea water, and their gills process the water but remove the salt. In fact, some saltwater fish lack properly functioning kidneys, in order to help avoid losing too much water.

Freshwater fish have the opposite problem: They need more salt. They absorb water through their skin and have effective ways of excreting excess liquid to maintain the salt they need.

Some fish have developed the ability to exist comfortably in both freshwater and saltwater -- the salmon and bull shark are notable examples. Bull sharks have been found far up the Mississippi and Amazon rivers, much to the surprise of people who believe sharks are found only in the salty, salty sea.

The Corn Beltway Boys...expanding your mind...

"Hey, Daren, you got that goat porn post ready yet, I am out of post ideas."

The Dean Of Stupid Pt. II

2007-03-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

"This could be George Bush's Watergate," Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean wrote in an e-mail soliciting campaign funds yesterday [speaking about the firing of US federal prosecutors by the Bush administration].

Yes, yes...yet another incident that "could be George Bush's Watergate." You know just like: Iraq, weapons of mass destruction, StupidGate..er...PlameGate, Katrina, Wire tapping, Karl Rove doing just about anything, Dick Cheney shooting people, and of course stealing his first election in 2002. All those events and countless others were suppose to lead to the downfall of Bush, yet here we are with Chimperor McHilterburton still leading this country. Keep your fingers crossed Dean maybe...just maybe by the end of Bush's second term you might actually get your modern day Watergate. I mean besides Sandy Berger stuffing classified documents down his pants...

Would it be asking too much for the Democrats to lead? They do, after all, have control of congress. Bitching about Bush is nice but I was kind of hoping for a little substance. Non binding resolutions are great destroyers of morale for our troops, but what will the Democrats do when Bush's term comes to end? Hell, with Bush out of the White Housethe very foundation of the current Democratic party will be gone.

Using Democrat logic the only thing the Bush administration did wrong in firing a few US attorneys was not firing them all like Clinton did in 1992. And besides, I really believe Dean is underestimating the positive effect this "scandal" will have on Bush...I mean everyone hates lawyers anyway. Heck, I am guessing this whole affair will actually boast Bush's approval ratings. Who doesn't like seeing like seeing unemployed lawyers? It almost brings a tear to the eye...sniffle...thank you GW. You're my boy...

New Species Found: Giant, Lesbian Vampire Bat

2007-03-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

Please take a moment and put on your tin foil hat and securely fasten it with some duct tape, because you're going to need it...oh yeah and I might cuss a time or two in this post.

[/rant on]

Rosie O'Donnell has taken to defending terrorist mastermind, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, because terrorists aren't "treated like humans" but rather they are "treated like animals." Aside from KSM not being the "be all, end all of terrorism" he has been robed of his "humanity" while savagely looked away at Guantanamo Bay. Then she proceeds to hold up the picture from the time of his arrest and make a case that we aren't properly feeding him. WHAT THE FUCK?

This bitch has a lot of fucking nerve. I find it disgusting that she is given a forum for her ignorance and in New York City no less...oh the fucking irony. Perhaps Daniel Pearl could go on the The View and explain what a kind and caring human being KSM is...oh wait, he can't because he was beheaded with a big fucking knife by Khalid...my bad.

The anger I feel now is very real. Rosie O'Donnell is an extremely stupid cunt with a mouth that needs to be gagged.

Go fuck yourself Rosie. Only in America can you coddle a terrorist and get paid for it.

Fucking bitter...

[rant off/]

From My Inbox

2007-03-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

Last year I spent about six month as one of dmJuice.com's top trafficed bloggers. I don't want to brag, but I ruled that liberal website like a Democrat spending tax money. I constantly tried to screw with the readers like I was a blogging Andy Kaufman. Good times...good times. Then I went too far and became the overall top blogger and as a conservative that meant I must go. Why dredge up old news? Well, when I was a Juice blogger I would receive emails letting me know someone had left a comment and I still get these emails occasionally.

I find this ironic to say the least. I am not listed on the Juice website anywhere, but my posts are still on their servers. So, that people are finding my posts means that Google searches are pulling up my old Juice articles. Going by their current crop of bloggers it's safe to say that my archived posts are probably pulling better traffic and comments than the new posts. Here is the email I received for a post I did on local loser, Larry Smithson:

New comment on your post #2263 "Dirt Bag with an Ego: Larry Smithson"
Author : NoTAFRAiD2SPEAk (IP: 12.207.14.216 , 12-207-14-216.client.mchsi.com)
E-mail : liladidasboy@hotmail.com
URI : http://liladidasboyhotmail.com
Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=12.207.14.216
Comment:
Well Jeremie Jordan,

Personally I don't give a FLYING F**K what you have to say. It says "IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED PLEASE STOP READING NOW" and I say the only thing good about those words is the PLEASE STOP READING. You are a desperate man with very desperate words. When writing an article/blog you should have the nerve to come face to face with the subject, not pick over a more prestigious paper's writings, even if you are a smaller branch of that paper. This was one big disgrace to the quickly growing and popular "Juice". You have a noticibly low level of self-confidence, which isn't suprising with the quickly-fading hairline and the "i gotta fit it gossip." I mean seriously quit the journalism and go on a diet, because i think everyone on here is thinking the same.

You chose to write about someone, who has helped Court Ave. and the downtown area the way it is today. Without him your chubby ass little mind wouldn't have had an article to write. He's a family oriented, but also a good businessman. It just so happens he picked up a few FRIENDS/ENEMIES through his climb to success.

----

PS: Your rather hilarious comment of "THE WORST COMB-OVER" is looking like it might meet you someday by the looks of your picture.

oh and also..

I can't wait to read the TOM BALDWIN article, which may feature his quickly decreasing funds, but thats just an idea.

GOODBYE JEREMIE.

You can see all comments on this post here:
http://blogs.dmjuice.com/?p=2263#comments

Just to let you know genius, I don't write for Juice anyone...or should I say "Larry stop leaving comments," because you know this comment was probably left by Smithson after Googling his own name.

Since I was reminded of Juice by this email I thought it would be a good time to revisit one of my favorite posts that I did on Juice:

Up To The Minute Opinion Polls

:: March 27th, 2006 :: 2:21 pm

Somewhere in the press today, there will no doubt be an opinion poll detailing a decline in President Bush’s approval rating. It seems recently CNN and the New York Times have taken to conducting real-time updates of Bush job performance:

6 AM (approval rating 36%): Bush wakes. CNN is reporting American’s where unimpressed with the President’s dream about pink turtles knights wearing tube socks on their tails in an attempt to win favor with the Princess No Left Turn. The public is calling for more dreams about Saddam in a thong.

7AM (approval rating 35%): Bush is dressed and has daily security briefing. NY Times publishes polls indicating that 87% of all Democrats disagree with Bush’s discussion to go with the navy suit and a red tie. Even 65% of Republicans think he should wear more suits with pin stripes.

8AM (approval rating 34%): After a quick breakfast with the First Lady, Bush heads to the oval office. The Huffington Post is claiming Bush is completely out of touch with the average American, as the President chooses a bran muffin over Count Chocula. The Huffington Post is also reporting Hitler liked a good bran muffin too…

9AM (approval rating 33%): Bush makes a few calls to congressional leaders to drum up support for some of his initiatives. MichaelMoore.com surveys 23 Americans and finds that 6 of them are disappointed with Bush’s use of a landline phone. Clearly the “will of the people” is for their President to use a Blackberry.

10AM (approval rating 32%): Cheney and Rumsfeld request a meeting with Bush to discuss the War in Iraq. The Washington Post editorial staff rakes the President for not stabilizing the violence in Iraq, ratifying their Constitution and mending the centuries of ethic hatred before “hanging out with his buddies at 10AM and playing war games.”

11AM (approval rating 31%): The President skips a planned early lunch and goes for a jog before heading off to scheduled public appearances. Howard Dean attacks Bush for creating a lunch-skipping precedent that may influence thousands of impressionable children to not eat their school lunches. Dean goes on to say the President clearly doesn’t think the established timetables for breakfast, lunch and supper apply to the current administration.

Let me state this clearly and distinctly: the only opinion poll I care about is the one where Americans goes into a little booth and vote. However, that said, I do believe the President can do better in the polls. I think with a little effort on his part he can dip to the 20% range. I personally won’t be satisfied until Bush hits then teens, but then my expectations of what I expect out of the President are more rigid than the average American citizen. Clearly it is time for Bush to snap his fingers and click his heels and solve all of the problems in the world.

Happy Abortion Day To You and Your Dead Fetus

2007-03-14T11:35:00.000-07:00

***I pull very few punches, so if you have strong feelings on abortion might I suggest skipping this post***

Used to be that when you would have unprotected sex and get yourself knocked up you would have to go through the whole abortion process without any support. Not today! A non-profit organization out of San Francisco has beaten Hallmark to the punch by issuing happy abortion cards.

Corn Beltway Boys' sources have secured a few early proofs of the upcoming abortion cards and I present them to you:

You got laid and knock up, but all I got you was this lousy card
While your baby circles and heads down the drain, I just wanted to let you know you're still my favorite slut
10 Beers: $22.5, 1 Unused Condom: $2.25, never having to face your responsibilities: Priceless.
Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's Whorey
Thinking of your uterus
Sorry, but this card is just like you...Late.

The Sun Identified As The Leading Cause Of Global Warming

2007-03-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

The International Panel on Climate Change is set to issue its' report to the United Nations this week on the primary cause of global warming.

"After excessive research it has been proven without a doubt that the Sun is the leading contributor to the rising Earth temperatures," the IPCC paper reads, "eliminate the Sun and you eliminate global warming."

Coming as no surprise, most of IPCC's heaviest criticism was leveled at the Bush's administration's pro-Sun policies as the report calls on the United States to abandon it's reckless sun loving ways. White House spokesman, Tony Snow, called the report's assessment of the Sun "a lot of hot air...in fact mostly hydrogen and helium."

"No Sun means no photosynthesis and no life," Snow said during his daily news briefing, "like it or not sometimes you have to live life with the Sun you have and not the less harmful Sun you wished you had."

It goes without saying that the IPCC report has received wide spread acclaim among the Hollywood liberals. Celebrities like Alec Baldwin and Barbara Streistand have joined forces to form a non-profit organization called "Stars Against Stars" which advocates the "complete destruction of the Sun and its' complexion and skin destroying UV rays."

Tecmo Bowl

2007-03-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Virtual Console on my Nintendo Wii, I am once again the Tecmo Bowl champion as my Chicago team beat the snot out of New York. Unfortunately the players names have been removed and it isn't Tecmo Super Bowl [which is a far superior game], but the game brings back so many great memories it was worth the $5 download fee.

Yes, that's right I played 10 straight games on Tecmo Bowl, an almost 20 year old game, to be the Tecmo Bowl champion. Every once and awhile you have to prove your video game geek bona-fides.

Now if Nintendo would just upload Baseball Stars, RC Pro-Am, Dragon Warrior, and the Bard's Tale...Blogger: In A Word - Create Post

Here is a link so you can Tecmo Bowl again.

You Know It's Bad For The Democrats When Kucinich Becomes The Voice Of Reason

2007-03-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

Ann Coulter was wrong about John Edwards, as I don't believe he's a faggot. No. Well dressed with perfectly styled hair? Yes. However, instead I contend Edwards isn't gay, but in fact a pussy. In a tizzy that would make my 10 month old son proud, Edwards refused to debate his fellow democratic Presidential candidates because the event was co-sponsored by Fox News.

I believe Edwards' pouting allows America to see just how unfit he is for the Presidency. I am not sure if Edwards understands this or not, but as President he will represent the entire nation not just the lunatic fringe on the left. Would his Presidential news briefing only be open to the New York Times and CNN? Can he not even stand to be in the presence of a conservative? Does every question he receive have to be a softball thrown from his supporters and vetted by the Daily Kos?

You know your political party is in trouble when weirdo, Dennis Kucinich [his wife not with standing], becomes the voice of reason:

Kucinich said “it’s an insult to the voters, and the height of cynicism, for candidates to refuse to take the public stage and subject themselves to public scrutiny.”

Usually I think Dennis is a few tofu short of a rice cake, but on this issue he is right [likely a word never used before in the same sentence to describe Kucinich]. Seriously though, how can you expect the rest of the nation to embrace you for the Presidency if every time someone utters the words 'Fox News' you run for your mommy?

If Fox News is biased, then it's high time liberals concede that every other news outlet is slanted left. Democrats whine and complain about Fox News like it's the apocalypse with Hannity, Greta, Hume and O'Reilly representing to of the Four Horsemen. One friggin' television station. One. Liberals get bent out of shape over one allegedly right leaning news program.

Time put down the Kool-Aid people and have a tofu burger... just make sure you eat it with your tin foil hat on.

Sex Scandal Rocks Iowa Governor Chet Culver

2007-03-09T12:17:00.000-08:00

Des Moines [CBB] - Comprised of details that would make Hollywood gossips blush, the Des Moines Register is reporting that Iowa governor, Chet Culver, has been caught having a extramarital affair with AFL-CIO president Mark Smith. According to the Register, top investigative reporter Tom Witoski received a tip early Sunday morning of foul play inside Culver's office at the Terrace Hill governor's mansion.

Unconfirmed reports say that when Witoski and his assistant walked into the Culver office they saw Smith seated in the governor's chair. Upon entering Culver's office, it was said that Smith looked startled but 'satisfied.' Moments after the Register team barged in, Culver popped up from underneath his desk.

"This isn't what it looks like," Culver claimed while wiping his month, "I can explain everything."

As news of scandal broke on the AP wire local TV reporters rushed to Terrace Hill. Culver appeared clearly rattled and worried about the fallout that his homosexual affair would have on his image. Smith on the other hand looked composed and smoked a cigarette while making a plea of calmness to Culver.

"Chetty there is no reason to worry, I am sleeping with half of the Register editorial staff too," Smith said, "By Monday this story will be buried between Marmaduke and Family Circus."

Details are still starting to emerge, but it appears the men were engaging in a little sexual role play with Culver acting out the part of the dumb, blond democrat that knowingly gets bent over. However, there was no word at this time on whether or not Culver at least got to cuddle.

Initial coverage had also inferred that the two men had been practicing bestiality, as there were sketchy reports of some kind of animal in a dominatrix outfit in the office with the men. However further inquiries confirmed that is wasn't an animal at all, but rather Lt. governor Patty Judge.

Government Bureaucracy

2007-03-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

Twice in the last two and a half months I've had the pleasure of sitting through fact finding unemployment interviews with Iowa Workforce Development. What makes these two times different then most of the others I have been through is that the employees in question still works for me. Try wrapping your brain around that one...claiming unemployment from a business while still employed there. Once you've done the mental yogi, you'll have a greater understanding of how the government works than I do.

Each one of the employees in question works part time for me and either lost or quit their full time job. By default when an unemployment claim is filed the Unemployment Insurance Services Division contacts the last three known places of employment for the individual. The reason being that if the first business isn't found liable for the unemployment claim the next business in line gets the chance to bare that burden. I can't imagine this line of thinking makes much sense to anyone outside the public sector, but it's the system we have.

Each unemployment case was handled by different UI workers. The first one was absolutely by the book and sounded like he was reading everything straight of the page. The first thing we established was the person in question was still employed. Trying to break the ice, I joked how funny it would be for me to pay unemployment on someone I still employed. Apparently to government workers this isn't funny. He told me that in the event that first business on the unemployment claim wasn't found responsible for the claim is could fall to my business, which I told him I understood.

However, by this time I was annoyed. So I asked him why his department thinks my business should be held responsible for the failings of another business' employee/boss relations when that person still works for me? Not to mention their unemployment claim is twice what they make working for me! "Sir, if you're unhappy with my report you have 30 days to file an appeal..." Whatever, just do you're stupid interview. I haven't lost a claim yet, so just ask your questions.

The second fact finding interview was handled by a very nice lady and it took all of 6o seconds. "Hello, Mr. Jordan thank you for taking the time this morning to meet with me. It says here on the background check that the claimant is still employed for you, is this correct?" To which I replied "Yes, Ma'am." She then said something about being sorry for wasting my time and told me I would receive a copy of her findings in about a month, but assured me that I would not be liable for the unemployment claims.

I mean God forbid the first worker uses a little common sense. Ah, the joys of owning your own business.

Saving The Planet

2007-03-08T04:43:00.000-08:00

You know me I don't like to brag, but I have been quietly changing into an environmentally conscious guy. Call it a moral calling if you will.

For instance, I have a power hungry, earth hating Xbox360 to play incredible games like Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I would have nightmares about the oppressive heat waves my children would have to bear in the future simply because I wanted to play Call Of Duty 3 on Xbox Live. My situation? I bought the carbon offsetting Nintendo Wii. The Wii uses barely a fraction of the Xbox 360's energy and according to Al Gore this makes it so my Green Qi is centered again.

And as if that wasn't enough, last night the wife and I went out grocery shopping [I do know how to treat my lady right] and when they asked me if I wanted a sack for my milk I say "no." Hell no. In fact, I have never [NEVER] had my milk sacked. The gallon jug is designed with a handle for a reason...so you environmental-Nazi bastards don't clog our landfills with wasteful Hy-Vee bags. Those of you that have your milk sacked, how do you live with yourselves? You sicken me...

Dear Daren,

2007-03-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

I know we have been friends for many years. From playing NES for hours, neighborhood football championships, to Halloween short stories and massive 20 person shaving cream fights...it's been a good friendship to say the least. Aside from your Night Ranger years that is, but I digress. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out a proper going away present and I was stumped until now...

New Weapon Against Warming: "Flatulence Cards" Offset Human Emissions

For only $16 I can make your farts carbon neutral for the next two years. You will now be able to pass gas without worrying about destroying the environment for your daughter generation. Feel free to fart in the general direction of anyone you dislike...feel free.

No need to thank me, as we're guys I know the words sometimes don't come out easily. But I know Daren, I know...

Jeremie

Liberals Are So [CENSORED FOR SENSITIVITY]

2007-03-05T14:53:00.000-08:00

The whole affair surrounding Ann Coulter outing John Edwards has reached the point of hilarity for me. Liberal blogs are losing what was left of their collective mind, demanding that almost every conservative denounce Coulter. You know what? Fuck that. How about reaching down and seeing if you have a pair, rather than expecting everyone else to be their brother's keeper.

The problem with Democrats is that they are their own worst enemy. The more they whine and complain about Coulter the more press and exposure she gets. Both of those things translate into increased royalty sales for Coulter. As usual liberal don't understand capitalism.

Stupidity abounds:

From iPol: The "F" Word

But the question that must be asked is, why isn’t every Republican candidate – heck, every Republican, period – denouncing Coulter’s hateful words?

Do you realize how much of a waste of time it is to comment on every nut job in America? Hell, if politicians had to take time out of their day to publicly rebuke every fool with a microphone there would be little time for anything else. Wait...on second thought...maybe this is a good idea. Anything to keep politicians too busy to spend my tax dollars is a good thing.

And oh the irony. Lets not forget the Bill Maher has been on record saying that if VP Dick Cheney's assassination had been successful less people would die. Everyday people like Rosie O'Donnell call the Bush administration "liars and murderers," however for some reason this doesn't upset the fragile sensibilities of liberals. I can hear the leftist excuses already: "well if it's true it's not slander."

The outrage over Coulter's comments leaves little doubt in my mind that myopia clouds every liberal's actions.

Possum On A Gum Bush

2007-03-05T08:38:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought Hillary couldn't be any more fake...you were wrong y'all.

Global Warming Blankets Iowa In Snow, Sending The State Into Chaos

2007-03-03T13:08:00.000-08:00

Des Moines [CBB] - Iowa governor, Chet Culver, has declared martial law after two straight days of global warming sent his rural state into chaos. National guard units have been dispatched to quell violence in ordinarily quiet farming communities, but their attempt to provide assistance has been initially met with gunfire and heavy resistance.

"We have reports of multiple instances of guard units exchanging rounds with farmers who are holed up in their grain silos," Lt. Mike Brown said while assessing the mob rule that has over taken the small town of Battle Creek, "it appears we may have made a tactical mistake by imposing a curfew as it seems the canceling of bingo night is what lead to the increase of violence."

Gov. Culver called on the national guard to impose martial law after looting of Dekalb hats and bib overalls were reported at Tractor Supply Co. stores across the state. Fifteen inches of global warming over a 48 hour period seemed to bring out the criminal element.

While the national guard tries to regain order in the sleepy agricultural state, many local leaders are starting to question why the federal government and FEMA were not quicker in providing assistance.

"Clearly George Bush does not like pasty white people," state senator Joel Rustin [D] said during a Friday afternoon press conference held inside the Des Moines green zone, "The White House clearly underestimated how Iowans would react [concerning the rising levels of violence] to not being able to have their morning coffee down at the local COOP."

The massive global warming storm has even garnered international attention, sparking outrage and abolishments from foreign countries. The French newspaper Le Progres wrote an editorial ripping the Bush administration's disaster response by writing "Global warming has shown that the scarecrow has no clothes and that the world's superpower is powerless when confronted with nature's fury." Le Progres went on to say it was "disgusted" that Iowa is still allowed to use a French word for its' captial, Des Moines, "in light of such incompétence."

In an attempt to quell the partisan rhetoric Gov. Culver took to the airwaves with a message of hope and optimism. Culver said both state and federal emergency response would be "one of the many things analyzed in the coming months, but that now was the time for rebuilding."

"I don't care what the people are saying Ames or wherever they are, this state will be vanilla by the end of the day."

The Big 5 - 0

2007-03-02T07:16:00.000-08:00

I rarely write about personal items here on CBB outside of personal feelings, however day is going to be different. About seven weeks ago I started joined a weight loss pool and I have reached a point of 50 pounds lost.

I have no vices in my life except enjoying a good meal. I suppose it comes from my late Grandma Wirth and her incredible country cooking. Hearty German food with generous helpings of meat. Of course, it should come as no surprise that I have a German heritage, I mean it completely explains my neo-fascist oppressive views.

Anyway I have a 52 week goal, but in light of the first seven weeks I am well on my way to making it...hell maybe even by the end of summer.

Don't Hate Him Because He Hates You

2007-03-01T05:40:00.000-08:00

Julio Pino is a Muslim who is an Associate Professor at Kent State University. Besides being employed by the taxpayers of Ohio, Mr. Pino writes a blog. The fact that Pino has a blog is certainly not unique as the Corn Beltway Boys are a daily reminder that any moron can have a blog. However what makes Pino's blog somewhat different is that he's advocating for Osama Bin Laden to be victorious in the war on terrorism.

Here are some recent headlines on Pino's "Global War" blog:

THe (ALMOST) CHENEY ASSASSINATION: AN INSIDE JOB!
REVOLUTIONARY IRAN BOLDER AND FIRMER THAN EVER!
SECRETARY WACKO-RICE: AL-QAEDA WILL STRIKE AT US AGAIN!
Jihadi Weapon of the Day: IED INSIDE DEAD DOG!
TALIBAN READY 2,000 MARTYRDOM-SEEKERS FOR SPRING OFFENSIVE!
KA-BOOM: IT'S OVER FOR CRUSADERS IN AFGHANISTAN!

Particularly nice is picture on the dead marine. Of course I use the word 'nice' meaning rage filled hatred with a desire to beat the ever living shit out of Pino.

I know what you're thinking: "Jeremie, why must you hate? Why can't you just sit down with Pino and find out why he wants you dead?" To that I say: I would be happy to sit down with Pino and talk with him, just as long as I am in a pew and he's in a pine box.

Unknown at this time is whether or not Pino has declared his intentions to run for the Democratic Presidential nomination but clearly he would have the support of the liberal blogosphere. Please be advised that if you wish to click the link to Pino's "Global War" blog that it will be written in a similar style as employed by NoNeed over at the "No Common Sense Iowan." Both are educators but neither one has writing skills above those of a six grader. I guess it's true what they say: "those can't...teach."

Here is the contact information to the history department at Kent University if you wish to drop them an email or phone call:

John R. Jameson [jjameson@kent.edu] Professor and Chair
Julio Pino [jpino@kent.edu - I am guessing on this one, but it seems logical based on the rest of the staff's email addresses]
Phone: 330-672-3000

A Convenient Hypocrisy

2007-02-27T13:05:00.000-08:00

Let just say right up front that the following disclosure on Al Gore's energy consumption does not surprise me, in fact I anyone who knows me can attest that I've claiming this for years...politicians and celebrities can talk the talk, but they can not walk the walk.

Al Gore's 'Inconvenient Truth'? -- $30,000 utility bill

Armed with Gore's utility bills for the last two years, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research charged Monday that the gas and electric bills for the former vice president's 20-room home and pool house devoured nearly 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours.

The Center claims that Nashville Electric Services records show the Gores in 2006 averaged a monthly electricity bill of $1,359 for using 18,414 kilowatt-hours, and $1,461 per month for using 16,200 kilowatt-hours in 2005. During that time, Nashville Gas Company billed the family an average of $536 a month for the main house and $544 for the pool house in 2006, and $640 for the main house and $525 for the pool house in 2005. That averages out to be $29,268 in gas and electric bills for the Gores in 2006, $31,512 in 2005.

And spare me the liberal spin on this one. How can you take anything Gore says serious after that report? O.K. granted we didn't take him serious before either, but you get my drift. I looked in up, it will take my family of four over 4 years [FOUR FRIGGIN' YEARS] to reach the energy consumption that Al Gore and his wife Tipper used in just one month [October, 2006]. But it only begins there. My car? A PT Cruiser that I only average about 9,000 miles a year at 32 miles per gallon in gas. I don't fly in a private jet and I don't have limo. I also don't have elaborate dinner parties with enough food to feed an African country. In fact, compared to Al Gore's worldly consumption my 'carbon footprint' on this earth is a speck to Gore's mountain.

Just out of curiosity I calculated my 'carbon footprint.' The results? My footprint is half of the average. The best part? I don't even try to conserve energy or care for the environment. Oh, bleepin' irony. The evil conservative blogger is doing more to help the world than the so-called Oscar winning environmentalist, Al Gore.

Hanoi Jane [as brought to you by the Des Moines Register]

2007-02-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

***Must try to repress gaggle reflex; deep breaths to control blood pressure:

[Jane] Fonda will bring a heightened sense of urgency about life to Des Moines tonight to kick off The Des Moines Register's 2007 Smart Talk Women's Lecture Series.

'Heightened' like sitting on an anti-aircraft gun in North Vietnam?

And Smart Talk? From Fonda? I can only guess if the Ragister did a Smart Talk Men's Lecture Series it would include John Kerry?

I am sorry but this bitch can go straight to hell as far as I am concerned. Some acts are not forgivable, at least not by me...and treason is one of them. Fonda can apologize all she wants, but unfortunately there are about 58,000 men who will never hear her shallow attempt at career saving "I'm sorry."

Fuck that. And fuck the Register.

Bitter?

Yeah...just a way of life these days.

And The Blue Balls Award Goes To...

2007-02-26T12:54:00.000-08:00

107 year old, Chan Chi

A 107-year-old Hong Kong villager, who still enjoys an occasional smoke, has attributed his longevity in part to decades of sexual abstinence, a newspaper said on Sunday.

"I don't know why I have lived this long," Chan Chi -- one of Hong Kong's oldest people -- was quoted as saying in the South China Morning Post during an annual feast for the city's elders.

"Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have lived a sex-less life for many years -- since I was 30," said Chan, a widower whose youthful bride perished during the Japanese invasion in World War Two.

Not worth it...not...NOT worth it.

However it appears a drag of nicotine is much harder for Chan Chi to resist than the warm embrace of a women:

But the centenarian, who's had no difficulty living a monastic existence for nearly 80 years, admits the pleasures of tobacco have been harder to resist.

"Now I want to quit," he was quoted as saying of his decades-long cigarette addiction. "Maybe the government should ban cigarette sales so I can give it up," he added.

You just knew he had to be a liberal...alive for 107 years and he still believes the government is the one who should solve his addictions.

Oscar Car Wreck

2007-02-26T06:14:00.000-08:00

I've had it with the political posturing, the behind-the-scenes games, and snide veiled attacks on the Bush administration during Hollywood award shows. The Oscars proved to me once again last night what a sham they really are...

Happy Feet beat Cars for best full length animated feature? Are you kidding me? What the hell is wrong Hollyweird? Lighting McQueen is the man...er...car. Not since Out Of Africa beat The Color Purple have the Oscars completely botched the winner.

Clearly the academy was trying to send a message to the White House that movies glorifying the wanton proliferation of global warming by portraying automobiles in a positive light will away lose to sappy, soulless penguins...no matter how stupid, dumb and boring those said penguins happen to be.

Impeachment Off The Table For Clinton Unless, Of Course, It Refers To Bush

2007-02-26T04:15:00.000-08:00

Hillary Clinton proclaimed discussions about her husband's impeachment hearing officially 'off limits' during the campaign:

"In the end, voters will decide what's off-limits, but I can't imagine that the public will reward the politics of personal destruction," senior Clinton adviser Howard Wolfson said Friday, when asked whether the impeachment is fair game for Clinton's opponents.

When it comes to 'personal destruction' that's a job the Clintons would like retain for themselves.
Apparently it is fine to have Bill campaign for her, but American public is only to focus on all the great things he did. All three of those things. The Clinton campaign also reminds opponents and the press that the following items are also off limits: commenting on Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinski, Kathleen Willey, Troopergate, Vince Foster, Waterwater, 11 hour pardons, not capturing Bin Laden, and perjury.

In related news, Senator Kennedy announced the death of Mary Jo Kopechne 'off limits,' Sen. Byrd announced his involvement in the Klu Klux Klan 'off limits,' Rep. William Jefferson said there will be no further comment on bundles of cash stashed in the freezer, and Sen. Barack Obama said inquires into his complete lack of experience for the Presidency is absolutely off the table...

Iowa Needs Another Bike Trail, Like The Register Needs Another Liberal Editor

2007-02-25T18:55:00.000-08:00

Because no budget is ever big enough, the Des Moines Register editorial staff is advocating for increased spending for bike trails. Put simply...it's friggin' Iowa. Step outside and take a look around...what do you see? Snow? Is it cold? Damn cold? How many months could they be used anyway? Iowa already has bike trails and for its' size, I would say Iowa has plenty.

However the Register thinks otherwise. But hey, last time I checked the Register had a little bicycling event called RAGBRAI, so their stance doesn't exactly surprise me. In fact, RAGBRAI is one of the reasons I am so against further tax payer bike trails. People from all over the nation come to ride on RAGBRAI and the Iowa tourism department would be kidding itself if it believes people are going to come to Iowa multiple times outside of RAGBRAI just to ride a damn bike and look at the cows.

This state ranks an embarrassing 48th in the country for recreational spending and 49th in percentage of land set aside for public use.

Missouri, for example, dedicates a small portion of sales tax to conservation and raised $168 million in fiscal year 2004. The proposal includes results of a survey that found 77 percent of Iowans support dedicating additional dollars to "protect Iowa's land, water and wildlife."

The advisory committee estimates it will take "an additional sustainable total of $150 million per year" to meet the needs of Iowa's natural resources.

I don't know about you, but when I read that Iowa ranks "49th in percentage of land set aside for public use" it brings a smile to my face. So most of the land in Iowa is privately owned? And this is a bad thing? Well it is if you work for the Register, but for those of us actually living in the real world it's a good thing.

And comparing Iowa to Missouri. Earth to the Register: Iowa is a farming state. Period. We have no mountains, few real lakes, or other natural wonders for that matter. We have fertile soil that makes for great farm land. If this is unacceptable to the Register staff may I suggest a one-way bus pass to a more majestic state.

First Gov. Culver proposes increasing the state's budget by 9% and now the Register thinks we should bleed even more tax dollars for more bike trails. It's your money people...this kind of wasteful spending should piss you off...

Recapping The Most Memorable Moment From The Failed Vilsack Presidential Campaign

2007-02-25T13:57:00.000-08:00

5. Bought a Mr. Coffee for his Des Moines campaign office; splurged for the 10 cup thermal programmable model.
4. Got the coveted Elmer Buford endorsement and all the political capital the mayor of Deloit, IA [pop. 240] brings with it.
3. Got to meet Jim Carrey during his Tonight Show with Jay Leno visit; thanked Carrey for making his favorite movie: Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls.
2. Raised $4.26 during a "Pickle with a Politician" fund raiser sponsored by Vlasic International Foods.
1. Upon dropping out, now gets to call himself a "former Presidential candidate."

bitter

2007-02-23T06:02:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been updating CBB very much lately, does that mean there aren't liberals doing stupid things? Absolutely not! It just means I've been very busy. As a rule the blog doesn't rank high on my things of "must do," it is, however, something I like to do. My life priorities list goes something like this: family, business, family again, business [unfortunately again], video games, ISU sports [if applicable], rooting against Steve Alford's Hawkeyes [I root for the Hawkeyes in football, except against the Clones...God how I do hate Alford though], watching Humphrey Bogart movies, watching mindless action movies with big explosions in surround sound, and then if there is time blogging.

Lately with the time I usually use to blog has been filled with pursuing new business ventures. Recently I was contacted about by a fellow franchisee about purchasing some of his stores. We could never come to an agreement, but another opportunity presented itself and I have been following that lead for the last week or so. I generally do not talk about my business on this blog, but the reasons why I wish to expand are somewhat political, so I thought I would write a quick post to explain.

Until last fall I had always enjoyed politics from afar. Having a blog with a few readers trashing something I had no control over was an interesting diversion. However with the Democrats being swept into power, I learned a hard lesson. I had always felt that local politics affected more than national politics [i.e. property taxes]. What I learned from Chet Culver and Nancy Pelosi is that the government can do more damage to my business than my competitors could ever hope to.

About a month ago I was contacted about new franchising opportunities within my company being offered to those franchisees with an excellent record. The initial capital outlay is dramatically less than the store I have now, plus there are no tipped employees so no one will be making near minimum wage. In light of the Democrats enacting policies that only affect 6% of the population, this seems like a good business venture to me. My cynical side however points out that while I will be paying most of the crew well above minimum wage, the new store will not have anyone make the $15 -$20 an hour that my original store has. I am not sure this is type of development the liberals had in mind, but it is reality. Instead of creating jobs that potentially pay more, I am looking to create jobs that will only be $3-$5 more than minimum wage. Clearly everyone loses.

But screw it. I have and will give more than most when the Democrat's policies take place, so fuck it I will be looking out for me. Everyone else in the world is looking out for number one, I guess it's about time I jumped on the bandwagon. I've spent the last 7 years trying to run a business with a community and employee centered approach, with the hope of paying myself more when the debt is paid off. I have little to no health care so I can pay my assistants more than I can really afford. However this approach has come to bite me in the ass last November. So yeah...I am bitter.

Real fucking bitter.

So, here I am venturing out looking to do something similar but yet very different in the hopes of Democrat-proofing my business. I futile attempt I am sure, but I cant' wait around for the liberals to completely put me out of business. I intend to go down swinging...it is, after all, my livelihood and livelihood of my family. Diversify or die...

Sweetness On The Court

2007-02-22T06:54:00.000-08:00

Iowa State basketball great, Barry Stevens, died Wednesday at his home in Indiana. Along with Ron Harris and coach Johnny Orr, Stevens help ISU go from a perennial loser to a regular NCAA tournament contender. Stevens was my first favorite Cyclone player. The flashy dunks and the silky smooth stroke from deep in the corner...Stevens was a fast streaking ESPN highlight film.

Although replaced by Jeff Grayer as ISU's all time leading scorer, his impact on Cyclone basketball will never be forgotten.

From the Des Moines Register:

Stevens helped usher Iowa State's program to national prominence. He scored 2,190 points, surpassed later by only Jeff Grayer, and led the 1984-85 team to the NCAA Tournament - the program's first trip since 1944.

Stevens was honored with a moment of silence before Wednesday night's game against Colorado at Hilton Coliseum.

Former Cyclone star Fred Hoiberg, now an assistant general manager for the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves, worked as a Cyclone ball boy during part of Stevens' heyday.

"I always wanted to be a player like him," Hoiberg said Wednesday. "It's a very sad day for anyone associated with Iowa State basketball."

Stevens was a captain in 1984-85 when Iowa State turned the corner, reaching the NCAA Tournament and finishing 21-13. He averaged 21.7 points per game as a senior after scoring at a 22.2-point clip as a junior.

Glass Houses

2007-02-21T06:46:00.000-08:00

By John Cougar Mellencamp

There's a simple man with no common sense,
Livin' in his own padded, plush, little world,
Shoulda negotiated with Osama, even with 3,000 dead,
Thinks because he's a celebrity his voice should be heard.
So far gone, believes after Pearl Harbor we shouldn't have attacked Japan,
America says to him: 'hey John, just stick to singing about Jack and Diane.'

Chorus:
Oh but ain't that a Liberal for you and me
Ain't that a Liberal something to see,
Ain't that a Liberal, cryin' like a baby
Little glass houses for you and me

Apparently the John missed the little ditty and the changes that come around were he was suppose to become a man...truly an "American Fool."

Moby Dick: What if Ahab Had Dynomite?

2007-02-20T13:36:00.000-08:00

Ah...nothing like an early morning stroll through the rain of a falling whale carcass...

Hillary Is Running Everything Up The Flag Pole Just To See Who Salutes

2007-02-20T10:29:00.000-08:00

Apparently an illegitimate war is the perfect segue for a political speech about removing the confederate flag from South Carolina's Capitol grounds:

ORANGEBURG, S.C. (AP) -- Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton said Monday that South Carolina should remove the Confederate flag from its Statehouse grounds, in part because the nation should unite under one banner while at war.

"I think about how many South Carolinians have served in our military and who are serving today under our flag and I believe that we should have one flag that we all pay honor to, as I know that most people in South Carolina do every single day," Clinton told The Associated Press in an interview.

The only thing I question is why bring up the war at all? There are hundreds of great reasons why South Carolina shouldn't fly the confederate flag and all that it obviously stands for, but our country being at war isn't one of them. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent reason but certainly not one I would campaign on. The first few things that pop in my head when I see the rebel flag: racism, slavery, and bigotry [or on the lighter side - The Dukes of Hazzard]. To Hillary it's about fighting under the same banner because we are at war. I am not sure if Hillary understands this or not, but other than a bunch of backwater hicks with their rebel flags and 'Git R Done' bumper stickers the rest of the nation is united under the beauty of Old Glory.

Democrats spend worthless hours criticizing the troops' war effort in Iraq, but somehow Hillary is rallying to their aid because of an archaic, vile piece of cloth? And to be clear, I agree with Hillary the flag needs to leave the statehouse lawn I just not following her line of thinking.